I thought it might be fun to go through some of the toys I had as a kid, it may even jog your memory regarding stuff you had.
The one thing I will say before I start, try not to think of all money the things would be worth had we not broken, or swapped them. Funny, but I dont really remember breaking much stuff when I was young, so where the hell did it all go (I blame my brother :-)
Some of the board games I had growing up are, amongst others long forgotten. You can see most of the things mentioned bellow by visiting www.boardgamegeek.com
Flight Deck by Airfix, Not really a boardgame this, more a game in the mould of Scalextric, a set up and play game, great fun at the time, but I could imagine kids today being bored stupid by it. I recently bought a copy of this from eBay, why? Because I could!
Mouse trap, A real classic this.
Cluedo, Again, a classic game that has managed to stand the tests of time.
Monopoly, The daddy, or mummy, of all games, been around for ages in a multitude of designs. I had the classic version, but since then I have had others. I still own a classic version and a Starwars version.
Totoploy, A horse racing game this one, buy a horse, or horses, then race them. Have a bet, win money, or loose. Not a bad game.
Subbuteo Football, A game you could collect for years. Worth a few bob nowadays depending on condition. I had a basic set and quite a few teams. There was a few of us who collected this so there was never a shortage of friends to play against. Took up a fair bit of space though.
Pocketeers, Funny these, a simple had held game. About the size of todays Nintendo handhelds. There was various versions of this. I had a motor racing game, which involved turning a small dial at the bottom of the unit which in turn moved a magnet underneath the track, this then moved small cars around a circular track. I thought it was a terrific then, and played it for hours, I would imagine it being laughed at by the youngsters today. What no batteries you do it yourself?
Escalado, More horse racing fun with game. It involved stretching the fabric course along a table or along another solid surface and placing the (lead) horses at the start. To move the horses along the course you turned a handle at the finish end which vibrated the fabric which in turn propelled them along the track. A great family game.
Battling tops, This would be one of the earliest games I remember owning, as I'm sure I had this one when I lived in London, (we moved from there in 1970)
Mastermind, I enjoyed this game, but always thought it a strange concept for a children's game. There was a lot of logical thinking for a kid in this game, but it was, for some strange reason really good fun.
Hotwheels, There have, over the years, been many versions of this game, with added effects and stunts added. The copy I owned was a basic track, round a loop the loop and over the finish line, triggering a flag to fall. The track was orange and the cars all had groovy names, although I cant remember any. To get the slope angle on the track you could clamp it to the back of a wooden chair and away you went.
Operation, This was a good family game, and I can remember playing this with mum.
Escape from Colditz, This was always one of my favorite games when I was younger, but not being the German pieces, no one did though, to be fair. Being one of the escape teams was good fun, as there was much more to do. A really well designed board, lots of colour and things to look at.
Action man, Yes Peg, I played with dolls when I was young.
Again, not a game but a toy. Some of this stuff can be worth a small fortune today, but alas mine went the way of the unknown soldier. There was so much stuff to get that it kept the parents in Christmas gift ideas for ages, and boy was I grateful.
Thinking back to what I said above about the earliest game I had, the earliest toy I can remember having was......
Fuzzy felts, Fuzzy felts, bloody hell, not really a game of any description, hardly a toy even. I mean you made pictures, they didn't move, or do much at all, but it was great non the less.
Top Trumps, I had a few sets of these, I can't remember what all of the sets were, but one was definitely F1. From the days of F1 when the overtaking was done on the track. I seem to remember an aircraft set I had as well.
Play-doh, Play-doh was awesome, but parents hated it cos it really got trodden into the carpet, and would NEVER come out.
Spirograph, Loads of fun with this toy, you could make some really weird pictures, very very 60s.
I've trawled various websites trying to jog my (suspect) memory, and found pictures of most of the stuff listed.
These are the main games and toys I remember having, there was defiantly more than this, like die-cast models and such like. If I think of any others I will put it up as and when I get time.
I hope you enjoyed having a look and maybe I even helped you remember something you might of had in your youth.
The random rantings of a bloke who wouldn't get a second look in the street.
Friday 14 December 2012
Saturday 10 November 2012
Smell the breeze
Spent a very pleasant hour or so in town with the wife today, then a quite disturbing 10 minutes or so towards the end.
See after some window shopping we was on our way back to the car when I felt a slight rumble in the stomach area, well, more a gurgling than rumble.
I turned to Sam and informed her that I needed to pass wind, not any wind though, oh no, this was bubble wind, notoriously difficult to keep in, so I just put my head down and started to clench the cheeks of my arse together, in a vain attempt to keep the approaching misdemeanour under wraps.
The main problem with clenching whilst walking is that it can make you mince a little. I'm sure I heard a conversation behind us that went along the lines of.
1st passer by, "That bloke in fronts got right tight buns for a fat fella, wouldn't you say"
2nd passer by, "Yeah, really toned, shall I ask him his secret?"
I then turned to Sam and informed her that I had just relaxed, not a good sign, she smiled and sped up a little.
We chuckled to ourselves at the thought of people behind us seeing this relaxing moment, knowing what was going on and slipping their shirt over their noses as they walked towards the inevitable foul odour.
"Shit! He's just relaxed, quick, go in there..................
See after some window shopping we was on our way back to the car when I felt a slight rumble in the stomach area, well, more a gurgling than rumble.
I turned to Sam and informed her that I needed to pass wind, not any wind though, oh no, this was bubble wind, notoriously difficult to keep in, so I just put my head down and started to clench the cheeks of my arse together, in a vain attempt to keep the approaching misdemeanour under wraps.
The main problem with clenching whilst walking is that it can make you mince a little. I'm sure I heard a conversation behind us that went along the lines of.
1st passer by, "That bloke in fronts got right tight buns for a fat fella, wouldn't you say"
2nd passer by, "Yeah, really toned, shall I ask him his secret?"
I then turned to Sam and informed her that I had just relaxed, not a good sign, she smiled and sped up a little.
We chuckled to ourselves at the thought of people behind us seeing this relaxing moment, knowing what was going on and slipping their shirt over their noses as they walked towards the inevitable foul odour.
"Shit! He's just relaxed, quick, go in there..................
Friday 19 October 2012
But I was sleeping in that
First things first, Ive had over 4000 views of the blog since i started it, thanks for taking the time to look.
Ok, on with the update.
Dont you hate adverts that seem to give the story or idea very little thought, or are just downright lazy.
Ibis hotels are showing an ad at the moment, about their brand new Ibis hotel bed, which according to them, their engineers couldn't rest until they completed.
The ad shows a chap in bed, and then into shot appear around 5 other people, who proceed to pick up the man in the bed. They hold him in the air whilst the new "Ibis bed" is wheeled under him removing the old bed. We are led to believe that this new bed is much better, and more comfortable and will give you a good nights sleep. What they seem to have forgotten, or noticed, is that when the bed bloke is lifted he is sound asleep, obviously comfortable enough in the old, inferior bed.
Theres an advertising executive sitting in an office somewhere with a right smug look on his face, twat!
I wonder if they should show these ads to members of the public first, no, better still, show someone the concept first before you shoot it. It is, in my opinion, a lazy advert and should have been given a lot more thought.
If you can give one of the adverts on my blog a click that would be great. Thanks for looking.
Ok, on with the update.
Dont you hate adverts that seem to give the story or idea very little thought, or are just downright lazy.
Ibis hotels are showing an ad at the moment, about their brand new Ibis hotel bed, which according to them, their engineers couldn't rest until they completed.
The ad shows a chap in bed, and then into shot appear around 5 other people, who proceed to pick up the man in the bed. They hold him in the air whilst the new "Ibis bed" is wheeled under him removing the old bed. We are led to believe that this new bed is much better, and more comfortable and will give you a good nights sleep. What they seem to have forgotten, or noticed, is that when the bed bloke is lifted he is sound asleep, obviously comfortable enough in the old, inferior bed.
Theres an advertising executive sitting in an office somewhere with a right smug look on his face, twat!
I wonder if they should show these ads to members of the public first, no, better still, show someone the concept first before you shoot it. It is, in my opinion, a lazy advert and should have been given a lot more thought.
If you can give one of the adverts on my blog a click that would be great. Thanks for looking.
Tuesday 2 October 2012
Look who we stubbled across
Had a morning in town yesterday, not for anything special, just needed to pick up some provisions (I used that word to make my American readers feel more at home) and a look round to see whats new.
Needless to say there was very little new, well, as a matter of fact, nothing new at all that I can remember.
We took the car, so no public transport adventures, no women gossiping and moaning about setting the house alight, but...................
We popped into a supermarket and, oh joy of joys, we were served by Rufus Hounds sister (see a previous blog post). She was, as to be expected, sporting a very nice 5 o'clock shadow. Bristles occupying various regions of her chin and giving her that rugged lived in look. She has the sort of hard stubble that most late teenagers would kill for, this is defiantly not bum fluff, unfortunately!
Its the first time I've been this close and I really must say how impressed I was by the beard.
At some stage in her life she has peered into a bathroom mirror and spotted a rogue hair on her chin, thick and black, maybe after her husband moaned about it tickling when they kissed (oh, a little bit of sick just came up).
Giving it a quick tug she plucked it clean out, only to discover a few more. Opening the bathroom cupboard she may have taken out her old mans razor. Hands trembling at the thought of a hair free face for the first time in years she lathered up and introduced her chin to the cold steel. There, she said to herself, smooth as a babies arse.
Kissing her old man goodnight how could she know the trouble this 5 minute bathroom mishap would give her, well maybe when hubby whispered in her ear "is that my Brut your wearing, have you shaved? Its gonna grow back even worse now you soppy moo".
He was, as time would show, quite right in this observation.
If you could see your way clear to click through an ad or two that would be great.
Needless to say there was very little new, well, as a matter of fact, nothing new at all that I can remember.
We took the car, so no public transport adventures, no women gossiping and moaning about setting the house alight, but...................
We popped into a supermarket and, oh joy of joys, we were served by Rufus Hounds sister (see a previous blog post). She was, as to be expected, sporting a very nice 5 o'clock shadow. Bristles occupying various regions of her chin and giving her that rugged lived in look. She has the sort of hard stubble that most late teenagers would kill for, this is defiantly not bum fluff, unfortunately!
Its the first time I've been this close and I really must say how impressed I was by the beard.
At some stage in her life she has peered into a bathroom mirror and spotted a rogue hair on her chin, thick and black, maybe after her husband moaned about it tickling when they kissed (oh, a little bit of sick just came up).
Giving it a quick tug she plucked it clean out, only to discover a few more. Opening the bathroom cupboard she may have taken out her old mans razor. Hands trembling at the thought of a hair free face for the first time in years she lathered up and introduced her chin to the cold steel. There, she said to herself, smooth as a babies arse.
Kissing her old man goodnight how could she know the trouble this 5 minute bathroom mishap would give her, well maybe when hubby whispered in her ear "is that my Brut your wearing, have you shaved? Its gonna grow back even worse now you soppy moo".
He was, as time would show, quite right in this observation.
If you could see your way clear to click through an ad or two that would be great.
Wednesday 26 September 2012
And that means what exactly?
Ah, so the transparent one went back to college today and me and Sam was left on our own for the first time in about 8 weeks, what fun, Charlotte went back a week or so ago.
Well anyway the boy comes in from college after his rigorous journey home via public transport, ah the young 'uns love public transport.
So in he comes and informs us how unenjoyable the journey over was, due to the fact that he had a sweater sit next to him. As i'm sure most normal folk would appreciate, a sweater must be someone with their own aromatic aroma, nope, that would be far to easy in this age of bastardised English, no, it actually means a stranger, someone you dont know, what a nerve eh, having the audacity to sit next to someone you dont know. How can it be that someone you dont know is called a sweater, I have no idea.
In my day a sweater was a jumper, or pullover, I have a few right now.
Its like talking to someone from another country sometimes in our house, I'm bloody sure eventually me and Sam will need a translator, I cant tell you half the words they come out with, manly due to the fact that there is no spelling for them, as the words dont actually exist.
Then he turns round to me and has the cheek to tell me, 'I cant believe you didn't know that, your so old', like I needed reminding, everyone knows what it means, I look round the room at the blank looks, and realise Mark may be in a minority of 1, thanks heavens for that.
Well anyway the boy comes in from college after his rigorous journey home via public transport, ah the young 'uns love public transport.
So in he comes and informs us how unenjoyable the journey over was, due to the fact that he had a sweater sit next to him. As i'm sure most normal folk would appreciate, a sweater must be someone with their own aromatic aroma, nope, that would be far to easy in this age of bastardised English, no, it actually means a stranger, someone you dont know, what a nerve eh, having the audacity to sit next to someone you dont know. How can it be that someone you dont know is called a sweater, I have no idea.
In my day a sweater was a jumper, or pullover, I have a few right now.
Its like talking to someone from another country sometimes in our house, I'm bloody sure eventually me and Sam will need a translator, I cant tell you half the words they come out with, manly due to the fact that there is no spelling for them, as the words dont actually exist.
Then he turns round to me and has the cheek to tell me, 'I cant believe you didn't know that, your so old', like I needed reminding, everyone knows what it means, I look round the room at the blank looks, and realise Mark may be in a minority of 1, thanks heavens for that.
Monday 10 September 2012
It's the thought that counts
Driving through a village the other day I noticed something that hadn't really hit me before, It's the thought that counts speed limit.
Have you noticed, I'm sure you have, how, when you approach a limit of say, 40mph from a 60mph zone, you just slow down, not to 40 nope, you just slow down, to about, I don't know, 45mph, after all, its the thought that counts, isn't it?
Surely it would be the case, that if you was to be pulled over by one of our custodians of the law he would realise that you had at least made an effort to obey the speed limit.
"I just pulled you over sir to thank you for making the effort, I know you never quite got to 40, but, its the thought that counts, off you go, have a nice day, and dont forget to nearly obey the speed limit".
Almost everyone does it, the person I was following at the time just slowed down to about 45mph from 60mph, a smug, that's near enough look on his face, I know there was, as there was one on mine.
Its quite funny really, sometimes I drive along passing comment on the driver in front for cruising off into the distance, not bothering to slow down at all.
Thinking about it, its probably worse to slow down a bit, not enough, just a bit, you see, by slowing down I'm acknowledging the fact that I'm going to fast, which must be worse than continuing at the same speed.
Have you noticed, I'm sure you have, how, when you approach a limit of say, 40mph from a 60mph zone, you just slow down, not to 40 nope, you just slow down, to about, I don't know, 45mph, after all, its the thought that counts, isn't it?
Surely it would be the case, that if you was to be pulled over by one of our custodians of the law he would realise that you had at least made an effort to obey the speed limit.
"I just pulled you over sir to thank you for making the effort, I know you never quite got to 40, but, its the thought that counts, off you go, have a nice day, and dont forget to nearly obey the speed limit".
Almost everyone does it, the person I was following at the time just slowed down to about 45mph from 60mph, a smug, that's near enough look on his face, I know there was, as there was one on mine.
Its quite funny really, sometimes I drive along passing comment on the driver in front for cruising off into the distance, not bothering to slow down at all.
Thinking about it, its probably worse to slow down a bit, not enough, just a bit, you see, by slowing down I'm acknowledging the fact that I'm going to fast, which must be worse than continuing at the same speed.
Wednesday 5 September 2012
Pass the Lemsip on the left hand side
Right, lets get one thing straight right from the start. I've got man flu, but I'm not, I hasten to add, NOT, looking for sympathy, that is unless you really want to give me some.
It came on at the weekend and has stuck around with a vengeance for the past days.
I wouldn't mind but I've not been fraternising with anyone who has the dreaded bug, it just came out of the blue.
I've not really been far since it sprung up, just went to town with the wife and shopped around for some cold treatments, and tissues.
For some reason I havent been receiving the level of support at home that, as a man who is unwell, I should maybe get. No special therapies from the family, no therapeutic rubs down with a moist Sporting Life, just a shrug, and get on with it, oh, and could you wipe that snot off the TV screen you dirty sod.
Of course, being a bloke you can imagine, I just plod on without making a fuss, not a word of moaning about how incredibly ill I am has crossed my lips, just loads of spit and flem.
Having said that, apart from my immediate family Ive managed to avoid all others, apart from walking past them in the street.
So, since my last update what have I been up to?
Well, unfortunately there will be considerably less bus journeys due to the fact that I now have a car, after 8 months of car free travel.
Still, having a car again is very nice, but we did remarkably well without one for all that time, and surprisingly didn't miss it as much as we might have imagined at the start.
The main thing about not having a car, after owning one, is going out for unplanned visits, trips to the cinema and other places not served by public transport in the evening or night.
The bad thing, on the other hand is, no more Rufus Hound lookalikes, no more twisted fire starters, or, folk in coats in the summer, see other older posts.
Me and Charlotte went to the theatre last week, the Mercury theatre in Colchester, and watched, Haunting Julia.
We both enjoyed it very much and would recommend it to friends. Its on until 8th September, with evening shows and matinees.
So, what else have we done?
We went out and did some Geocaching last weekend, at Long Melford, I also put out another one late last week for others to find.
Right, thats it for this update, now where did I put those tissues?
It came on at the weekend and has stuck around with a vengeance for the past days.
I wouldn't mind but I've not been fraternising with anyone who has the dreaded bug, it just came out of the blue.
I've not really been far since it sprung up, just went to town with the wife and shopped around for some cold treatments, and tissues.
For some reason I havent been receiving the level of support at home that, as a man who is unwell, I should maybe get. No special therapies from the family, no therapeutic rubs down with a moist Sporting Life, just a shrug, and get on with it, oh, and could you wipe that snot off the TV screen you dirty sod.
Of course, being a bloke you can imagine, I just plod on without making a fuss, not a word of moaning about how incredibly ill I am has crossed my lips, just loads of spit and flem.
Having said that, apart from my immediate family Ive managed to avoid all others, apart from walking past them in the street.
So, since my last update what have I been up to?
Well, unfortunately there will be considerably less bus journeys due to the fact that I now have a car, after 8 months of car free travel.
Still, having a car again is very nice, but we did remarkably well without one for all that time, and surprisingly didn't miss it as much as we might have imagined at the start.
The main thing about not having a car, after owning one, is going out for unplanned visits, trips to the cinema and other places not served by public transport in the evening or night.
The bad thing, on the other hand is, no more Rufus Hound lookalikes, no more twisted fire starters, or, folk in coats in the summer, see other older posts.
Me and Charlotte went to the theatre last week, the Mercury theatre in Colchester, and watched, Haunting Julia.
We both enjoyed it very much and would recommend it to friends. Its on until 8th September, with evening shows and matinees.
So, what else have we done?
We went out and did some Geocaching last weekend, at Long Melford, I also put out another one late last week for others to find.
Right, thats it for this update, now where did I put those tissues?
Wednesday 22 August 2012
MacBook World Tour
Its been a while, but to be honest I've not been up to a great deal worth telling you about.
I did however order a new laptop (I'm typing on it right now, you can tell cant you) from Apple.
I know, slightly over exuberant, but you only live once, or not, see other post Death, what is it good for!
We, as I'm sure you know, Apple pride themselves on the recycle value of their laptops, even the glass is green friendly. So, knowing all this imagine my surprise when upon ordering my MacBook I'm given an estimated delivery of 12 days, a little long for a standard configuration, I only added two items of software. Still, what do I know about these things, Its bound to turn up earlier so I'll just sit back and wait.
Around the 9th August I get the email I was waiting for, your product has shipped. Get in there, not long now, looks like the estimate of 12 day was just covering bases in case of delays.
The email also states that you can track via the carriers on line site, live tracking. I'll have some of that, so a quick copy and paste of the delivery reference on the site and I'm in.
Right, where is it then, Manchester, or London, maybe even Ireland, if I had made a list of start points Shanghai would have been a little far down the list, but I would have been correct had I put Chinas largest city. It begs the question why? Why would a company so outwardly green ship a laptop, a stock laptop, half way around the planet. I sat back and watched my laptop journey towards me. Next stop, South Korea, man alive the bloody laptops having a better holiday than me, hope it brings me some photos. Well it was a fleeting visit to South Korea, but at least it got to visit. Next stop Kazakhstan, really! From there my Mac flew to Warsaw in Poland, onwards from there after a quick night stop over to Germany. What a gas, its been to more bleedin places than I have, free post as well. A weekend stop in Germany, maybe a night out at a local nightclub, and then back to the airport hotel for a night cap.
It then arrived, via Stansted and Chelmsford, completely knackered, but with a hell of a tan.
Well when it got to Germany I thought I should phone Apple to vent my splene regarding the awful waste of resources, shipping it from China.
I told them that I had bought an item that you would imagine was in stock at every Apple store in the UK, what they told me defied belief. The chap at the other end of the phone told me that I had not ordered a stock item due to the software I wanted preloaded, this meant that it needed shipping from China.
Me: Well if thats the case there was little point in me ordering the laptop then was there!
Bloke: Why?
Me: Well if every time I need to put software on it it needs to go back to China, as thats the only place where you have people qualified to instal software I'll never get a chance to use it.
Bloke: No, its just that....
Me: I know, I know, but its truly pathetic that it needs to be sent so far, just because it has software installed.
Bloke: I'm sorry about the fact you are unhappy with the service.
Well, to make a short story long I got a bit of a deal at the end, due to me being a moaning git.
There were no holiday snaps, no tales of getting off with some cheap Tablet, no fornicating with netbooks, nope, it would appear to have behaved impeccably on its journey.
So, as a warning to all, by all means get a MacBook, they are great, just dont get the software pre loaded, unless you live in Shanghai, in which case your new laptop will be with you almost before you order it.
The above is meant in no way to assume that all of Apples delivery services are this poor, its just my personal experience, and to be fair, they apologised financially at the end, and lets be honest, we all love a freebie.
One last thing before I go, and you dont hear from me for weeks again, If you can help The Thespians, see previous blog update, that would be great. They are nearly halfway towards their goal.
Cheers
I did however order a new laptop (I'm typing on it right now, you can tell cant you) from Apple.
I know, slightly over exuberant, but you only live once, or not, see other post Death, what is it good for!
We, as I'm sure you know, Apple pride themselves on the recycle value of their laptops, even the glass is green friendly. So, knowing all this imagine my surprise when upon ordering my MacBook I'm given an estimated delivery of 12 days, a little long for a standard configuration, I only added two items of software. Still, what do I know about these things, Its bound to turn up earlier so I'll just sit back and wait.
Around the 9th August I get the email I was waiting for, your product has shipped. Get in there, not long now, looks like the estimate of 12 day was just covering bases in case of delays.
The email also states that you can track via the carriers on line site, live tracking. I'll have some of that, so a quick copy and paste of the delivery reference on the site and I'm in.
Right, where is it then, Manchester, or London, maybe even Ireland, if I had made a list of start points Shanghai would have been a little far down the list, but I would have been correct had I put Chinas largest city. It begs the question why? Why would a company so outwardly green ship a laptop, a stock laptop, half way around the planet. I sat back and watched my laptop journey towards me. Next stop, South Korea, man alive the bloody laptops having a better holiday than me, hope it brings me some photos. Well it was a fleeting visit to South Korea, but at least it got to visit. Next stop Kazakhstan, really! From there my Mac flew to Warsaw in Poland, onwards from there after a quick night stop over to Germany. What a gas, its been to more bleedin places than I have, free post as well. A weekend stop in Germany, maybe a night out at a local nightclub, and then back to the airport hotel for a night cap.
It then arrived, via Stansted and Chelmsford, completely knackered, but with a hell of a tan.
Well when it got to Germany I thought I should phone Apple to vent my splene regarding the awful waste of resources, shipping it from China.
I told them that I had bought an item that you would imagine was in stock at every Apple store in the UK, what they told me defied belief. The chap at the other end of the phone told me that I had not ordered a stock item due to the software I wanted preloaded, this meant that it needed shipping from China.
Me: Well if thats the case there was little point in me ordering the laptop then was there!
Bloke: Why?
Me: Well if every time I need to put software on it it needs to go back to China, as thats the only place where you have people qualified to instal software I'll never get a chance to use it.
Bloke: No, its just that....
Me: I know, I know, but its truly pathetic that it needs to be sent so far, just because it has software installed.
Bloke: I'm sorry about the fact you are unhappy with the service.
Well, to make a short story long I got a bit of a deal at the end, due to me being a moaning git.
There were no holiday snaps, no tales of getting off with some cheap Tablet, no fornicating with netbooks, nope, it would appear to have behaved impeccably on its journey.
So, as a warning to all, by all means get a MacBook, they are great, just dont get the software pre loaded, unless you live in Shanghai, in which case your new laptop will be with you almost before you order it.
The above is meant in no way to assume that all of Apples delivery services are this poor, its just my personal experience, and to be fair, they apologised financially at the end, and lets be honest, we all love a freebie.
One last thing before I go, and you dont hear from me for weeks again, If you can help The Thespians, see previous blog update, that would be great. They are nearly halfway towards their goal.
Cheers
Tuesday 10 July 2012
The Thespians
I stumbled, via a magazine article, a website which intrigued me the other day. Pleadgemusic.com
A place where, we, us, the great unwashed, can help new, and sometimes not so new bands and musicians get funding to launch such things as debut albums, fund tours or new EPs.
The way it works is, you find a band, or solo artists you like the sound of, and, if you so wish, you can pledge money to them, which goes towards the total they are after reaching. No money leaves your account, unless you pledge via Paypal, until the total is reached. If for any reason they fail in reaching their total then no monies are taken. It must be mentioned that if you do pay with Paypal then the money is taken straight away, it is however returned should the pledge drive fail.
Well, anyway lets cut to the chase.
I found a band that I liked the sound of, and thought I would take the liberty of sharing my findings with you, bloody cheek eh!
The Thespians is their name, Paul, Jess, Phill and Danny. They are after funding for their debut album, which they hope to release, with a little help from their friends, this year.
At the moment they are unsigned and without management, so its a real big deal for these guys to sort this out. They have arranged the studio already, its Parr St Studios in Liverpool, where Coldplay recorded their first couple of albums.
They are offering some gifts as a thank you for pledging, the list can be found here, http://www.pledgemusic.com/artists/thethespians as can details of how to pledge. So, its not actually something for nothing, well, unless you just want to just give.
I sent an email to the band informing them that I was prepared to offer them a smidgen of my blog, in return for, sod all actually, big of me huh, like they say at a well known supermarket, 'every little helps' (other large supermarket slogans are available, but just not as apt as that one)
Well, I've been sent some background info back through from Paul, the bands singer and I would like to pass some of it on if I may, well, I'm going to anyway.
Their sell out EP launch show resulted in them being given a
residency at the legendary Eric’s Punk Venue in Liverpool and the opportunity
to headline the main stage at Liverpool’s Threshold Festival. They
were recently invited to perform at Alan McGee's (Oasis/Libertines) showcase
night in London, ‘Death Disco’ and attracted the attention of BBC Radio 2’s
Janice Long.
Here are a few things that the press have said about them.
'One
of the best upcoming Liverpool bands' Dave
Monks (BBC Radio Merseyside)
Here's a couple of their videos, listen, watch enjoy, and maybe, just maybe, give a little.
Linked with kind permission of the band, many thanks.
If you like what you hear and feel that you can pledge a few bob just click the link towards the top of the page. If you want to see more about them click here
http://www.thethespians.com/
On behalf of the band, cheers.
A place where, we, us, the great unwashed, can help new, and sometimes not so new bands and musicians get funding to launch such things as debut albums, fund tours or new EPs.
The way it works is, you find a band, or solo artists you like the sound of, and, if you so wish, you can pledge money to them, which goes towards the total they are after reaching. No money leaves your account, unless you pledge via Paypal, until the total is reached. If for any reason they fail in reaching their total then no monies are taken. It must be mentioned that if you do pay with Paypal then the money is taken straight away, it is however returned should the pledge drive fail.
Well, anyway lets cut to the chase.
I found a band that I liked the sound of, and thought I would take the liberty of sharing my findings with you, bloody cheek eh!
The Thespians is their name, Paul, Jess, Phill and Danny. They are after funding for their debut album, which they hope to release, with a little help from their friends, this year.
At the moment they are unsigned and without management, so its a real big deal for these guys to sort this out. They have arranged the studio already, its Parr St Studios in Liverpool, where Coldplay recorded their first couple of albums.
They are offering some gifts as a thank you for pledging, the list can be found here, http://www.pledgemusic.com/artists/thethespians as can details of how to pledge. So, its not actually something for nothing, well, unless you just want to just give.
I sent an email to the band informing them that I was prepared to offer them a smidgen of my blog, in return for, sod all actually, big of me huh, like they say at a well known supermarket, 'every little helps' (other large supermarket slogans are available, but just not as apt as that one)
Well, I've been sent some background info back through from Paul, the bands singer and I would like to pass some of it on if I may, well, I'm going to anyway.
Performing live for the first time in November 2010,
The Thespians have since headlined the Liverpool o2 Academy 3 times, the
Dawson's Stage at Chester Rocks Festival (alongside Iggy and The Stooges)
and BBC Introducing Stage at Mathew St Festival.
Last year they were picked up by MTV New York, who licensed,
'The Crash' and 'First Impressions', and labelled them as, 'The next
massive garage rock band, the UK's answer to The Strokes'.
Their debut video for 'Reason To Reason', went viral within days
of uploading it to YouTube and has now racked up nearly 40,000 views, leading
to them being offered the chance to shoot a £20K video for 'Too Fast To Live'
by a top London film studio.
Here are a few things that the press have said about them.
‘I
was mesmerised when I saw them, and blagged a cd to play on my show. Cracking
songs with great guitar riffs. I LOVE THEM!’ Janice Long (BBC Radio 2)
'The Intensity of UK vintage punk with a
brazen social consciousness far beyond their years…. a dangerous combination of
charisma, intelligence and straight up unapologetic honesty' Mine Salkin (Liverpool Bido Lito Magazine)
'The punk four piece followed with a set
that could have come straight out of New York. Catchy riffs and memorable
vocals. These leather clad rebels look set for big things' Richard Denton (Liverpool Live)
Here's a couple of their videos, listen, watch enjoy, and maybe, just maybe, give a little.
Linked with kind permission of the band, many thanks.
http://www.thethespians.com/
On behalf of the band, cheers.
Wednesday 4 July 2012
But I feel the cold!
Have you ever noticed how simpletons don't seem to feel warm, they do however seem to feel the cold. I've never seen, how should I put this, ahem, the touched, without a coat on.
I'm on the bus back from Colchester and there are a couple of folk up the front who I shall describe as' to closely related for it to be healthy' sitting with big anoraks on. Outside it's about 21 degrees and the driver, for some reason, has the heater on, so to describe it as warm would be fair, but still they sit, coats on, inwardly shivering.
I wonder if the part of the brain that deals with sense also has our temperature gauge in it.
Chatting away loudly like they are the only people on here, gets on your tits.
Why do they talk so damn loud?
There are a few people in town who wander around in all weathers who are touched by the hand of incest ,always wearing a coat, it just ain't right.
I know I'm just taking the piss but next time you are out and about in the summer, and you see someone in their coat, mark my words, steer clear.
Now, where the hell did I put my coat.
I'm on the bus back from Colchester and there are a couple of folk up the front who I shall describe as' to closely related for it to be healthy' sitting with big anoraks on. Outside it's about 21 degrees and the driver, for some reason, has the heater on, so to describe it as warm would be fair, but still they sit, coats on, inwardly shivering.
I wonder if the part of the brain that deals with sense also has our temperature gauge in it.
Chatting away loudly like they are the only people on here, gets on your tits.
Why do they talk so damn loud?
There are a few people in town who wander around in all weathers who are touched by the hand of incest ,always wearing a coat, it just ain't right.
I know I'm just taking the piss but next time you are out and about in the summer, and you see someone in their coat, mark my words, steer clear.
Now, where the hell did I put my coat.
Tuesday 3 July 2012
A fox in wolfs clothing
A parliamentary enquiry in to the banking scandal. Interesting, mainly due to the fact there's already a procedure in place to tackle things that are against the law, it's called legal justice. We have a police force.
I can't help but think that putting MP's in charge is like asking Mr Fox if he could possibly look after the chicken run for me.
I understand the big fines for the actual corporation but surely the individuals need to go through the legal system.
By the way, who's going to end up paying the fines, yes, us, with bigger fees and charges.
Please, don't put MP's in charge, some of them can't even look after there own ethics, so how can they possible tell someone else what they are doing is illegal.
If we break the law we go to court and then possibly, if the crimes serious enough, we go to prison.
Let's see some heads roll. We desperately need to get the banks in check, after all they've been running the planet for the past few years, they need a wake up call.
Sitting in their great big offices with those smug grins on their faces, they need to learn a lesson, but not by MP's
I can't help but think that putting MP's in charge is like asking Mr Fox if he could possibly look after the chicken run for me.
I understand the big fines for the actual corporation but surely the individuals need to go through the legal system.
By the way, who's going to end up paying the fines, yes, us, with bigger fees and charges.
Please, don't put MP's in charge, some of them can't even look after there own ethics, so how can they possible tell someone else what they are doing is illegal.
If we break the law we go to court and then possibly, if the crimes serious enough, we go to prison.
Let's see some heads roll. We desperately need to get the banks in check, after all they've been running the planet for the past few years, they need a wake up call.
Sitting in their great big offices with those smug grins on their faces, they need to learn a lesson, but not by MP's
Wednesday 13 June 2012
Are you talking to me?
The worlds going mad.
Don't you just hate those people that would rather drop someone else in trouble than themselves; well, machines are up to it now.
In town today Sam put her card into the ATM and pressed the appropriate buttons to get the service she required. The machine was making a couple of strange clicking noises, and Sam commented on the fact that it sounded a little, unusual. Well, anyway, we got through the enter pin number, and select the service we wanted.
Pause, strange sound again, and a message popped up on the screen, stating that 'the issuing bank have declined your request'. WTF!
She knew the card was OK as she had used it earlier at another ATM, but nope, this one tried to blame someone else for the fact that it was about to go tits up. You know the world is going slight mad when machines start apportioning blame elsewhere.
ATM: Nope, its not my fault, you can try all you like, its down to your bank that is. Don't bother putting it in again, your bank hates you so there's no point trying. Its not my fault madam, honest, I'm just telling you like it is. Listen, cant you hear me working really hard for you?
Me: No, all I can here is you going wrong, and trying to blame my bank. Take the blame yourself, we wont laugh, honest.
What the hell is going on, I'm trying to reason with a machine.
This ATM has more AI than some games I've played. I half expected it to start snivelling, in a pathetic attempt to make me feel sorry for it.
ATM: (sob), I'm so sorry, really I am, please don't report me, (sob).
Me: Poxy heap of crap, I'll use the other ATM up there.
Don't you just hate those people that would rather drop someone else in trouble than themselves; well, machines are up to it now.
In town today Sam put her card into the ATM and pressed the appropriate buttons to get the service she required. The machine was making a couple of strange clicking noises, and Sam commented on the fact that it sounded a little, unusual. Well, anyway, we got through the enter pin number, and select the service we wanted.
Pause, strange sound again, and a message popped up on the screen, stating that 'the issuing bank have declined your request'. WTF!
She knew the card was OK as she had used it earlier at another ATM, but nope, this one tried to blame someone else for the fact that it was about to go tits up. You know the world is going slight mad when machines start apportioning blame elsewhere.
ATM: Nope, its not my fault, you can try all you like, its down to your bank that is. Don't bother putting it in again, your bank hates you so there's no point trying. Its not my fault madam, honest, I'm just telling you like it is. Listen, cant you hear me working really hard for you?
Me: No, all I can here is you going wrong, and trying to blame my bank. Take the blame yourself, we wont laugh, honest.
What the hell is going on, I'm trying to reason with a machine.
This ATM has more AI than some games I've played. I half expected it to start snivelling, in a pathetic attempt to make me feel sorry for it.
ATM: (sob), I'm so sorry, really I am, please don't report me, (sob).
Me: Poxy heap of crap, I'll use the other ATM up there.
Tuesday 12 June 2012
Don't panic!
3000 views of the blog, who would have thought it. Thanks for that one and all.
Not as many updates as I would have liked recently, just shows how little I get up to when I'm not at work, shame!
Well anyway, I bring you news of that transparent son of mine. He's been out with us, yes, with us, as a family, into town, with nothing in it for him. Fortunately the sun hasn't been out for a while, funny how the word sun or son is used followed by the words, not been out much.
Turns out, that as he had not been out the house a lot over the past, well, year or two, he is now suffering from cloud stroke!
Poor lad, still, at least he's got some colour in his cheeks now, even if it is just grey.
Me and the boy had a wander around town while Sam went off for an hour, and as we walked across the Market Hill, by the statue we saw a, well I would use the words pleasantly plump, but it wasn't overly pleasant to be fair, so I'll just leave it at plump, women. She was wrestling with a plastic double cake box, the kind you can seen through. She finally managed to get it open, she then paused, glanced at the cakes inside and closed the lid. I honestly thought we had just witnessed someone turning over a new leaf, a real life changing moment.
What am I doing with my life, eating this crap, walking around with my own micro climate, killing myself with all this rubbish food. No, its about time I found slim, start eating salad and cutting out the calories, I'll discover the new me in no time, the slim me, the I can slip into any clothes I want me.
Alas no.
She put them down, on top of a bin (gross) to do something else. Well as she placed them on the bin a small gust of wind blew gently against them and they slide down the side of the bin lid, falling towards the ground. The look of horror on slims face was a picture, she panicked, flapped and made a desperate grab to save her, ahem, snack. As she reached out to grab the box she misjudged the distance her hand had to travel to save them, and proceed to squash the box against the side of the bin, flakes of broken cake rained down to the ground, quite possibly alongside the odd tear. She managed to save the most of the cakes from hitting the ground though, having partially destroyed one of them.
To be fair it was probably the hardest workout she's had in years, but at least it was exercise!
Not as many updates as I would have liked recently, just shows how little I get up to when I'm not at work, shame!
Well anyway, I bring you news of that transparent son of mine. He's been out with us, yes, with us, as a family, into town, with nothing in it for him. Fortunately the sun hasn't been out for a while, funny how the word sun or son is used followed by the words, not been out much.
Turns out, that as he had not been out the house a lot over the past, well, year or two, he is now suffering from cloud stroke!
Poor lad, still, at least he's got some colour in his cheeks now, even if it is just grey.
Me and the boy had a wander around town while Sam went off for an hour, and as we walked across the Market Hill, by the statue we saw a, well I would use the words pleasantly plump, but it wasn't overly pleasant to be fair, so I'll just leave it at plump, women. She was wrestling with a plastic double cake box, the kind you can seen through. She finally managed to get it open, she then paused, glanced at the cakes inside and closed the lid. I honestly thought we had just witnessed someone turning over a new leaf, a real life changing moment.
What am I doing with my life, eating this crap, walking around with my own micro climate, killing myself with all this rubbish food. No, its about time I found slim, start eating salad and cutting out the calories, I'll discover the new me in no time, the slim me, the I can slip into any clothes I want me.
Alas no.
She put them down, on top of a bin (gross) to do something else. Well as she placed them on the bin a small gust of wind blew gently against them and they slide down the side of the bin lid, falling towards the ground. The look of horror on slims face was a picture, she panicked, flapped and made a desperate grab to save her, ahem, snack. As she reached out to grab the box she misjudged the distance her hand had to travel to save them, and proceed to squash the box against the side of the bin, flakes of broken cake rained down to the ground, quite possibly alongside the odd tear. She managed to save the most of the cakes from hitting the ground though, having partially destroyed one of them.
To be fair it was probably the hardest workout she's had in years, but at least it was exercise!
Friday 25 May 2012
I wonder what happened to.........................
Gave mum a good send off this morning, thanks to those that attended.
Journey over to the service was quite light hearted. We travelled over in a family car supplied by the funeral directors, and as it sat 6 my sister in law and my best mate Tom, travelled with us.
The conversation turned to some of the outrageous fashion me and Tom had as youngsters, and believe me, it wouldn't have been pretty, I can remember being thrown out of Oxfam for lowering the tone of the place.
There's me going on about the knitted balaclava I had when I was about 5. Brown it was, mum knitted it and it itched in all the wrong places. Heaven forbid I should have removed it though, god no.
Tom remembered some of the shirts we sported back in the day, and the size of the collars, man they where big, BIG!
He said that it could actually be the case that we where the early pioneers in un-powered flight. Seriously large collars, one slight wind change and you could be a few feet off the ground.
We reminisced about one of the fellas that lived in Sudbury who was very much an early punk rock pioneer, he had it all, glue, zips, more piercings than you could shake a stick at, and tartan trousers.
I mentioned about the fact that I quite enjoyed listening to a bit of punk rock but was a bit of a closet punk, dress sense wise, I wasn't allowed!
I became a new romantic after this time, and remembered one occasion when I came down stairs at home in what could only be described as, well, a frilly shirt, puffy sleeves, and a low neck. I thought I looked wonderful, mum obviously disagreed.
'If you think your going out dressed like that you are sadly mistaken'
The truth is I have no idea where I would have gone had I been allowed to leave the house. Round to a mates looking like a Spandau Ballet reject, I almost definately wouldn't have been allowed in.
We traded tank top tales, and I said that I have photographic proof of just how appalling mine were, I won that round. The thought of walking around with the brown home knitted balaclava, home knitted tank top and the winged collared shirt on I'm surprised I got through my youth.
The photo bellow shows the full ensemble minus the balaclava, shame! But, if you look really close you can see the faraway, terrified look in my eyes that was ingrained on my psyche, put there by the forced wearing of it in the past. Oh the trauma.
Journey over to the service was quite light hearted. We travelled over in a family car supplied by the funeral directors, and as it sat 6 my sister in law and my best mate Tom, travelled with us.
The conversation turned to some of the outrageous fashion me and Tom had as youngsters, and believe me, it wouldn't have been pretty, I can remember being thrown out of Oxfam for lowering the tone of the place.
There's me going on about the knitted balaclava I had when I was about 5. Brown it was, mum knitted it and it itched in all the wrong places. Heaven forbid I should have removed it though, god no.
Tom remembered some of the shirts we sported back in the day, and the size of the collars, man they where big, BIG!
He said that it could actually be the case that we where the early pioneers in un-powered flight. Seriously large collars, one slight wind change and you could be a few feet off the ground.
We reminisced about one of the fellas that lived in Sudbury who was very much an early punk rock pioneer, he had it all, glue, zips, more piercings than you could shake a stick at, and tartan trousers.
I mentioned about the fact that I quite enjoyed listening to a bit of punk rock but was a bit of a closet punk, dress sense wise, I wasn't allowed!
I became a new romantic after this time, and remembered one occasion when I came down stairs at home in what could only be described as, well, a frilly shirt, puffy sleeves, and a low neck. I thought I looked wonderful, mum obviously disagreed.
'If you think your going out dressed like that you are sadly mistaken'
The truth is I have no idea where I would have gone had I been allowed to leave the house. Round to a mates looking like a Spandau Ballet reject, I almost definately wouldn't have been allowed in.
We traded tank top tales, and I said that I have photographic proof of just how appalling mine were, I won that round. The thought of walking around with the brown home knitted balaclava, home knitted tank top and the winged collared shirt on I'm surprised I got through my youth.
The photo bellow shows the full ensemble minus the balaclava, shame! But, if you look really close you can see the faraway, terrified look in my eyes that was ingrained on my psyche, put there by the forced wearing of it in the past. Oh the trauma.
Sunday 13 May 2012
Mum 25/05/1936 11/05/2012
Mums, we've all got one, and to be truthful most people would tell you that theirs is the best, and they would be right, mine was the best as well. I say mine, I do of course mean mine and Stuart.
Bringing up two boys as a single parent from 1974 until the day we were big enough, and ugly enough to cope on our own takes some doing.
In those days being a single parent was a little more unusual than it is today, there was a bit more stigma attached to it, and a lot less state help, but mum did a brilliant job.
She loved having fun and most of the time was in a good mood, even when I would turn up where she worked asking if she had a few pence I could have for sweets, she normally managed to find a few pence in her purse, maybe that's why I did it.
She always had the worst sense of direction out of anyone I new. Our next door neighbour Joe always said that 'if you turned mum round twice in her garden she would have trouble finding home' maybe a little extreme but not that wide of the mark.
Another thing she could never do very well was ride a bike. We had some big laughs on holiday when we hired a tandem one year with the express aim of teaching mum to ride it, well, at least we tried! You see the only way to teach someone to ride a bike if it's a tandem is by letting them take the front seat at some stage, this means some other fool has to get on the back, danger money please.
Firstly I took the front seat and mum perched on the back and we preceded to wobble along. Trying to control a bike at the front when the person on the back has no balance is, what should I say, fun!
Ok, I must warn you at this point, I'm about to upload a photo of me and mum on the tandem, and to say my fashion sense was laps would be an understatement, anyway, here goes.
Sorry about the quality of the picture, this was in the days before digital cameras. I think you can tell that mum was worried due to the fact that she dare not put her feet down. Its like she's saying. Nope, my feet are off the ground now if they go back down they wont come up again. Her knuckles are also very white.
Also, like I say, sorry for the fashion faux-par on my part.
Mum did progress to the front seat of the tandem at some stage I have a photo to show this, unfortunately the person on the back is not a family member and I wouldn't feel good about putting their picture on the here, sorry.
I remember the time when a week before me and Sam was getting married I went out for my stag night and Sam, Mum and Stuarts wife to be had a small hen night in doors. I say small, that only means small in the fact that they never went out, not small in the amount they drank. Drink wise this was a large hen night due to the site that greeted me and Stuart upon our drunken return. I don't think I have every sobered up so quick. You can keep your coffee, the site of mum crawling around the living room floor with her teeth in a glass was enough to sober up the most drunken person ever. Mumbling and dribbling her way towards the sofa, what a site. As if that wasn't bad enough, the site that greeted us upstairs once we had but mum to bed was even worse, but that's for another day, maybe.
As I say at the top of this blog, she was a great mum who put always put us first. She worked hard but she enjoyed her play as much. She would be the life and soul of any family gathering, non stop dancing, the sort of dancing you always see on You've been framed. Really embarrassing parent dancing, the only thing stopping her standing out like a sore thumb was the fact that every other adult danced equally as badly.
It's slightly embarrassing being present as a teenager at these events, when, in my eyes, the only person there with any fashion sense was me, photo poof below.
There you go, white trouser, shoes and socks, along with the pink shirt, always a good look. I think the word your looking for is tasteful.
There probably numerous other tales of mums behaviour that I could tell but this post would go on for ages, so I leave it at this.
I will just finish it off by saying, Mum, we will miss you, it was great.
Bringing up two boys as a single parent from 1974 until the day we were big enough, and ugly enough to cope on our own takes some doing.
In those days being a single parent was a little more unusual than it is today, there was a bit more stigma attached to it, and a lot less state help, but mum did a brilliant job.
She loved having fun and most of the time was in a good mood, even when I would turn up where she worked asking if she had a few pence I could have for sweets, she normally managed to find a few pence in her purse, maybe that's why I did it.
She always had the worst sense of direction out of anyone I new. Our next door neighbour Joe always said that 'if you turned mum round twice in her garden she would have trouble finding home' maybe a little extreme but not that wide of the mark.
Another thing she could never do very well was ride a bike. We had some big laughs on holiday when we hired a tandem one year with the express aim of teaching mum to ride it, well, at least we tried! You see the only way to teach someone to ride a bike if it's a tandem is by letting them take the front seat at some stage, this means some other fool has to get on the back, danger money please.
Firstly I took the front seat and mum perched on the back and we preceded to wobble along. Trying to control a bike at the front when the person on the back has no balance is, what should I say, fun!
Ok, I must warn you at this point, I'm about to upload a photo of me and mum on the tandem, and to say my fashion sense was laps would be an understatement, anyway, here goes.
 |
| Sorry! |
Also, like I say, sorry for the fashion faux-par on my part.
Mum did progress to the front seat of the tandem at some stage I have a photo to show this, unfortunately the person on the back is not a family member and I wouldn't feel good about putting their picture on the here, sorry.
I remember the time when a week before me and Sam was getting married I went out for my stag night and Sam, Mum and Stuarts wife to be had a small hen night in doors. I say small, that only means small in the fact that they never went out, not small in the amount they drank. Drink wise this was a large hen night due to the site that greeted me and Stuart upon our drunken return. I don't think I have every sobered up so quick. You can keep your coffee, the site of mum crawling around the living room floor with her teeth in a glass was enough to sober up the most drunken person ever. Mumbling and dribbling her way towards the sofa, what a site. As if that wasn't bad enough, the site that greeted us upstairs once we had but mum to bed was even worse, but that's for another day, maybe.
As I say at the top of this blog, she was a great mum who put always put us first. She worked hard but she enjoyed her play as much. She would be the life and soul of any family gathering, non stop dancing, the sort of dancing you always see on You've been framed. Really embarrassing parent dancing, the only thing stopping her standing out like a sore thumb was the fact that every other adult danced equally as badly.
 |
| Go girl! |
 |
| Putting on the style |
There probably numerous other tales of mums behaviour that I could tell but this post would go on for ages, so I leave it at this.
I will just finish it off by saying, Mum, we will miss you, it was great.
Saturday 5 May 2012
Dogging
I must relay this tale that was told on Danny Bakers radio 5 live Saturday show.
I make no claims to this tale what so ever, I heard it on the show and felt it needed telling to my friends on here. I hope you find it as funny as I found it.
Danny Baker does a talk show where people phone in on subjects he puts out at the start of the show, this week 2 of the subjects where on funny stories involving either dogs or cats.
This women phoned up with the tail of her dog Micky, and how he used to escape from their house, via lifting the sash window with his nose and getting out.
They used to dress Micky and cat up, jumpers, knickers and such like.
Micky was a mongrel, not a pedigree, she said he looked like a Border Collie, and so did most of the other dogs in the area. You see, Micky was a bit of a gigolo, a ladies dog if you will.
Well on this one occasion Micky had got out and away he went.
Later in the day there was a knock at the door and it was Micky's owners next door neighbour, informing Micky's owner that Micky was round the corner servicing her dog.
How do you know it's our Micky? says his owner, most of the dogs in the area look like our Micky.
Well, came the reply from the neighbour, he had a hat on.
That's it, that's the story that I found so funny, and still do actually.
I think the thing that makes it so funny is that its a very visual tale, where you can picture it any way you want to.
It makes it very personal visualising a story in your own way. You see, in my image of Micky with his hat, on I have him with the hat just tipped at a slightly jaunty angle, looking sideways at the neighbour and almost winking. Just going about, what to him was everyday business.
So, if you didn't find it overly funny, firstly I'm sorry to waste your time, but secondly maybe you didn't visualise it, try going back over it with your own scene.
I make no claims to this tale what so ever, I heard it on the show and felt it needed telling to my friends on here. I hope you find it as funny as I found it.
Danny Baker does a talk show where people phone in on subjects he puts out at the start of the show, this week 2 of the subjects where on funny stories involving either dogs or cats.
This women phoned up with the tail of her dog Micky, and how he used to escape from their house, via lifting the sash window with his nose and getting out.
They used to dress Micky and cat up, jumpers, knickers and such like.
Micky was a mongrel, not a pedigree, she said he looked like a Border Collie, and so did most of the other dogs in the area. You see, Micky was a bit of a gigolo, a ladies dog if you will.
Well on this one occasion Micky had got out and away he went.
Later in the day there was a knock at the door and it was Micky's owners next door neighbour, informing Micky's owner that Micky was round the corner servicing her dog.
How do you know it's our Micky? says his owner, most of the dogs in the area look like our Micky.
Well, came the reply from the neighbour, he had a hat on.
That's it, that's the story that I found so funny, and still do actually.
I think the thing that makes it so funny is that its a very visual tale, where you can picture it any way you want to.
It makes it very personal visualising a story in your own way. You see, in my image of Micky with his hat, on I have him with the hat just tipped at a slightly jaunty angle, looking sideways at the neighbour and almost winking. Just going about, what to him was everyday business.
So, if you didn't find it overly funny, firstly I'm sorry to waste your time, but secondly maybe you didn't visualise it, try going back over it with your own scene.
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| Art by Skippy |
It's for yor own good son.
Lets have a quick look at the photo, well its quite apparent that i was partial to jelly and crisps, and still am to this day, just as different dishes. I have to say, those cakes didn't appear to be going down terribly well, not the case now a days I fear.
There are 3 candles on the cake, which would indicate a 3rd birthday, and I'll have to go with that as there is nothing else to say if that's my age at the time or not, I cant judge ages very well.
One thing I do vaguely remember is the boy in the foreground, who's head you can see, blew out my candles, horrible git that he was.
What shocked me about this photo when i found it again was the Corgi toy present I had received.
It was a 007 James Bond Aston Martin Corgi number 261, with ejector seat and bullet proof rear shield. There is another car in the picture but alas I cant see what it is; and there in lies the problem, what in gods name happens to all this stuff we grew up with.
It gets broken you fool!
I know it gets broken, but toys that get broken you can usually remember throwing away, its traumatic, but others, well they just seem to vanish.
If this car had been broken I would remember that, I'm sure of it, and if it had been lost there would have been tears.
I know blokes that have kept all their toys, well maybe not all, but certainly a lot, in their original boxes as well, Barry ;-)
I was never like that, I played my stuff to death, that's probably what happened to my stuff, it died. I would just think that you would be able to remember what happened to your old toys. I can remember specific things from my childhood but not where possessions went, they just seem to vanish.
Ive had a look at this car on the web today and man alive did I regret that.
There's an inner box on eBay, with bids, on £35, just the box inner.
There's a box outer on there currently on £30.
There's a complete toy and box, buy it now £325, I nearly fell of my chair. £360 seems to be about the going rate, why oh why did I study this photo so much!
I urge all of you who read this, buy your children toys by all meas, indeed let them hold them for a moment, study there form, touch them, then snatch them back, put them in their box, and store them away. Your child will love you eventually, after about 16 years. You may have to go through some bad times with tantrums for a few days after each toy is snatched back, but they will appreciate it over time.
Ok, so at some stage you may also have to deal with Social Services due to the miss treatment of your children but it will be worth it. Think of the money you are amassing, its like an endowment policy just without the fun for the child.
16 years on when little Johny is 20, and you sell all his toys on eBay and make a small fortune, hand him the cheque, then sit back and watch him spunk it away, the little sod!
Sunday 29 April 2012
A Gregg's, a Gregg's my money for a Gregg's.
Now what I am about to say may come as a surprise. I love Gregg's the bakers, their sausage rolls to be specific are to die for.
Here, for me, is a typical visit.
You would never tell by my svelte like frame, but I do, I just disguise it well!
The trouble with going in there is there's never seemingly enough to go round. Most days the queue will stretch to the entrance, which usually amounts to about 15 or so people. I join the Back of the line in the vain pursuit of my fix of sausage roll and glance along the stream of people to see if I can second guess what they might purchase. I check the hot counter and count the sausage rolls, I then glance at the people. There are at least 25 sausage rolls left and 15 folk in the queue. 7 old people, it's doubtful they will want sausage rolls so i can discount them. They will more than likely buy floury bloomers, medium sliced, or baps, older folk do seem to like floury bloomers and baps.
Anyway, taking the 7 old folk out of the equation this leaves 8 possible day spoilers. 1 girl with a child in the buggy,.Ok, cake for child, possible sausage roll for her. She's thin, and being thin with such a young child's means there is a good chance she looks after herself. 2 blokes in smart suits, one has already picked a sandwich, how greedy would he have to be to buy a sausage roll as well.
The other chap in the suit is buying some cakes, result.
Girl with child does indeed buy a sausage roll leaving about 24. First suit man just takes the sandwich and goes on his way. Next in the queue is a contractor, bloody hell, he may take a few.
8 please!
Greedy sod, although deep down I know only 7 will be for him and the other one for his labourer.
16 left and still I'm way back in the line.
A couple of young lads next, they might take some, they certainly don't look like cake types. Would it look cool walking along eating? I do, but I'm older than them, and therefore my cool days are way behind me. It would not be that unusual to see me in a shirt bedecked in crumbs.
Anyway, they take 2 each, I start to sweat.
12 left. I know they have some more in the oven but there way to hot. They have a filing of lava not meat.
I glance along the line and reevaluate the situation. 12 left and 7 more people.
Next up is a couple, ok, I try to work out the chances of them buying sausage rolls. Well even if they take 1 each that still leaves 10, and with 5 more in the queue I imagine I'm in good shape.
After the couple is another single girl, at the most she would take 1 I think to myself. After her is a bloke in smart attire, then comes another girl and right in front of me is a bloke on his own. Blue trousers, dark jacket, slightly dishevelled hair and trainers.
The couple just buy donuts, the girl buys a loaf, didn't see that coming, the bloke behind her buy 4 sausage rolls, 6 left and just the bloke in front of me left. He looks like an office bloke. Ok he may take 2 that leaves 4 which is how many I want. He turns as he approaches the counter, and his jacket falls open to revile the same logo as the greedy sod who took 8. I try to make him think of pasties of wraps, anything else, just by thought projection, but alas no.
6 sausage rolls please.
Aaaarrrgggghhhh!
Here, for me, is a typical visit.
You would never tell by my svelte like frame, but I do, I just disguise it well!
The trouble with going in there is there's never seemingly enough to go round. Most days the queue will stretch to the entrance, which usually amounts to about 15 or so people. I join the Back of the line in the vain pursuit of my fix of sausage roll and glance along the stream of people to see if I can second guess what they might purchase. I check the hot counter and count the sausage rolls, I then glance at the people. There are at least 25 sausage rolls left and 15 folk in the queue. 7 old people, it's doubtful they will want sausage rolls so i can discount them. They will more than likely buy floury bloomers, medium sliced, or baps, older folk do seem to like floury bloomers and baps.
Anyway, taking the 7 old folk out of the equation this leaves 8 possible day spoilers. 1 girl with a child in the buggy,.Ok, cake for child, possible sausage roll for her. She's thin, and being thin with such a young child's means there is a good chance she looks after herself. 2 blokes in smart suits, one has already picked a sandwich, how greedy would he have to be to buy a sausage roll as well.
The other chap in the suit is buying some cakes, result.
Girl with child does indeed buy a sausage roll leaving about 24. First suit man just takes the sandwich and goes on his way. Next in the queue is a contractor, bloody hell, he may take a few.
8 please!
Greedy sod, although deep down I know only 7 will be for him and the other one for his labourer.
16 left and still I'm way back in the line.
A couple of young lads next, they might take some, they certainly don't look like cake types. Would it look cool walking along eating? I do, but I'm older than them, and therefore my cool days are way behind me. It would not be that unusual to see me in a shirt bedecked in crumbs.
Anyway, they take 2 each, I start to sweat.
12 left. I know they have some more in the oven but there way to hot. They have a filing of lava not meat.
I glance along the line and reevaluate the situation. 12 left and 7 more people.
Next up is a couple, ok, I try to work out the chances of them buying sausage rolls. Well even if they take 1 each that still leaves 10, and with 5 more in the queue I imagine I'm in good shape.
After the couple is another single girl, at the most she would take 1 I think to myself. After her is a bloke in smart attire, then comes another girl and right in front of me is a bloke on his own. Blue trousers, dark jacket, slightly dishevelled hair and trainers.
The couple just buy donuts, the girl buys a loaf, didn't see that coming, the bloke behind her buy 4 sausage rolls, 6 left and just the bloke in front of me left. He looks like an office bloke. Ok he may take 2 that leaves 4 which is how many I want. He turns as he approaches the counter, and his jacket falls open to revile the same logo as the greedy sod who took 8. I try to make him think of pasties of wraps, anything else, just by thought projection, but alas no.
6 sausage rolls please.
Aaaarrrgggghhhh!
Friday 27 April 2012
Speak up, I'm running out of credit.
So, the past few days of my holiday from work have flown by, and I've done next to nothing.
We went in to town yesterday, me and Sam, also Sam's sister. Nothing exciting happened though, not a thing. Firestarter women and stinky man were nowhere to be seen, and nobody else stepped up to the plate.
Although I have not done a great deal during my week off its still been great, just the fact that I haven't had to go to work is worth it in its self.
We did the Norwich thing, me and Charlotte, and a few trips in to town with Sam.
Me and Sam went to Colchester Tuesday, which was fun we haven't been there for a while, certainly since we got rid of the car. We went on the bus; not the best journey the bus seems to stop every few yards. One village we went through the bus stopped twice in the space of 300 yards, why? Why couldn't these people just meet at one stop, rather than having to pick each person up right outside their houses. Maybe they don't like each other, who knows.
It was most enjoyable trooping round Colchester for the morning, spent a few bob had a bite to eat and got the bus home. There was one small thing I suppose, worth writing about.
A loud women where we ate, one of those people who doesn't need the phone they are speaking in to.
They shout so loud, the person at the other end must have to hold the phone feet from their face.
They are good to listen to though, you can join in with what they chat about, only one side of the conversation mind, which sometimes does make it all the funnier. If only the person at the other end new that all their dirty washing was being aired in public, fortunately anonymously.
I did start writing a blog entry the other day. I sat at the computer watching Prime Ministers questions thinking how bloody childish these people act in front of the cameras. Its really quite amusing to sit and listen to them, jeering and shouting across at each other. Still, could be worse, they could be the countries decision makers!
It's like a kindergarten in there, I'm sure I saw one of them poke their tongue out the other day. It's also quite funny to see them passing notes to each other.
David says you smell!
Quick scribble, pass that back please. John says you've got a face like a donkeys arse.
I used to get in trouble at school for passing notes backwards and forwards, MICHAEL! COME HERE AND BRING THE NOTE!
It wasn't me Miss!
Enough of that stuff, now they can track and intercept email and other sorts of electronic communications, as I might get in trouble.
That sonofnesbit's been writing about you on his blog.
Yeah, but he wrote about you as well, he said you smell.
Get him in, and tell him to bring the blog with him.
That's not really how it works, its on the Internet.
Ok, get him to bring the Internet in with him!
But Prime Minister its.......
Just do it!
Like I say above, its a good job they don't have to make really important decisions isn't it.
We went in to town yesterday, me and Sam, also Sam's sister. Nothing exciting happened though, not a thing. Firestarter women and stinky man were nowhere to be seen, and nobody else stepped up to the plate.
Although I have not done a great deal during my week off its still been great, just the fact that I haven't had to go to work is worth it in its self.
We did the Norwich thing, me and Charlotte, and a few trips in to town with Sam.
Me and Sam went to Colchester Tuesday, which was fun we haven't been there for a while, certainly since we got rid of the car. We went on the bus; not the best journey the bus seems to stop every few yards. One village we went through the bus stopped twice in the space of 300 yards, why? Why couldn't these people just meet at one stop, rather than having to pick each person up right outside their houses. Maybe they don't like each other, who knows.
It was most enjoyable trooping round Colchester for the morning, spent a few bob had a bite to eat and got the bus home. There was one small thing I suppose, worth writing about.
A loud women where we ate, one of those people who doesn't need the phone they are speaking in to.
They shout so loud, the person at the other end must have to hold the phone feet from their face.
They are good to listen to though, you can join in with what they chat about, only one side of the conversation mind, which sometimes does make it all the funnier. If only the person at the other end new that all their dirty washing was being aired in public, fortunately anonymously.
I did start writing a blog entry the other day. I sat at the computer watching Prime Ministers questions thinking how bloody childish these people act in front of the cameras. Its really quite amusing to sit and listen to them, jeering and shouting across at each other. Still, could be worse, they could be the countries decision makers!
It's like a kindergarten in there, I'm sure I saw one of them poke their tongue out the other day. It's also quite funny to see them passing notes to each other.
David says you smell!
Quick scribble, pass that back please. John says you've got a face like a donkeys arse.
I used to get in trouble at school for passing notes backwards and forwards, MICHAEL! COME HERE AND BRING THE NOTE!
It wasn't me Miss!
Enough of that stuff, now they can track and intercept email and other sorts of electronic communications, as I might get in trouble.
That sonofnesbit's been writing about you on his blog.
Yeah, but he wrote about you as well, he said you smell.
Get him in, and tell him to bring the blog with him.
That's not really how it works, its on the Internet.
Ok, get him to bring the Internet in with him!
But Prime Minister its.......
Just do it!
Like I say above, its a good job they don't have to make really important decisions isn't it.
Monday 23 April 2012
Is it a bird, is it a plane, no, its Mattress Man!
Ok, I am
getting old. I kind of knew it, but being away Saturday night in Norwich for
the gig has done nothing to dispel the feeling.
The
hotel/B&B we stayed in was ok, but, the room they gave us was on the ground
floor, near the stairs and right next to the street door, all the makings of
not being the quietest position in the building.
I don't
really want to moan, it wasn't that bad really, the hosts where very friendly
and it was situated in a prime spot for us. I'm going to moan about certain
aspects though. The noise mostly; who in god’s name goes out at 02:00, not just
one person, oh no, 2 or 3 times people came down the stairs at different times,
and they didn't have carpet slippers on believe me, no sir, hobnailed boots
where the order of the day. Their last thought being as they went out, should
we pull the street door closed gently, nah, sod it, that would delay us by a
second or 2, let it slam, why should they care, it’s not like it’s a hotel and
others may be trying to sleep, god no.
Now I don't sleep well in a
strange room anyway, and I think that as I realise this it makes it worse, so I
don't need listening to herds of wildebeests roaming majestically right past my
room, never mind across the plains. The room was comfortable, if not over
furnished. The TV sucked a bit though, being one of the large backed old school
TVs. It may be the case that the owners rent out the space in the back of the
TV as a small single occupancy room, who knows!
|
|
 |
| Me and Mattress Man |
Breakfast
was very nice; I went for the low calorie full English, bacon, egg, beans,
sausage, toast and one of my 5 a day, tomato. To drink we had a jug of juice,
which counted for at least another of our 5 a day, so all round a very
wholesome and good for you breakfast, I can feel the weight falling off, one of
those meals you eat where you actually lose weight whilst eating it.
The flush
on the toilet gave a rather nice fart noise when pressed, which didn’t fail to
make Charlotte cry with laughter every time I pressed it. Upon walking out she
would greet me with a “was that you”?
To which I would reply, no, it was the flush. Not a great sound when
you just walk out of the toilet, it’s a good job me and Charlotte have the same
sense of humour. She flushed it a couple of times this was followed by her
killing herself laughing from the other side of the door, which in turn made me
chuckle.
When we
are out and about Charlotte has an eagle eye for money on the pavement, pennies
through to pound coins, she can spot them from yards away. Well imagine my
surprise when at the concert, whilst the main band was on stage she falls to
the floor, what the hells she doing down there? Up she comes, little grin on
her face, “I found a pound.”
Its pitch
black in here, I couldn’t even see my shoe, let alone a coin on the floor. I
asked her how she saw it. I put my foot on something and realised it was a
pound coin from the thickness. Bloody hell, super sensitive feet our girl,
she can gauge the denomination of a coin just from treading on it.
On our way to Castle Mall on the
Sunday morning we decided to have our picture taken with Mattress Man (it's a shop not a theme park), what a
guy! Charlotte wouldn’t let me upload hers, so here’s mine, I'll cop the flack
my shoulders are broad.
Can I have a stick of your OAP rock please?
Well, had a cracking weekend in Norwich with Charlotte for the concert.
We went to the Waterfront venue to watch Twin Atlantic, being supported by ME the band, and Lower than Atlantis.
Allow me to give you my thoughts on the bands, well, I'm going to anyway.
ME, well they were first on, with the least amount of people watching so you kind of know what to expect, or do you? Both me and Charlotte thought they were excellent. To make it harder for them, and I know it’s not the first time they have taken to the stage, but it is at this venue, so they don’t know the crowd, they had to cope with 3 power outages towards the end of their set, nightmare! They coped admirably, as during one of their songs they get three people drumming and it sounded wicked, and that is how they got through the second power outage, a drum solo, and it got the crowd on their side. The last power outage nearly done for them but fortunately they had won the crowd already and it was the shortest of the power breaks, so they got the last song done. It seemed to me that the last break did them some good in as much as they really put their all in to the last tune and it sounded superb. I would recommend seeing this new Australian band live if you get a chance. The bass player, who performed in bare feet for reasons only known to him, had a slight style of Mick Khan (Japan) bass player about him, which is certainly no bad thing.
 |
| ME The band @ Waterfront Norwich |
The singer had a presence on stage and was full of confidence, and reminded me slightly of Billy Mackenzie (Associates) in his vocal style. He gave a lot of energy to the part considering the size of the stage the first 2 bands get at the Waterfront, all tucked up at the front.
The drummer was one of the 2 to keep the gig alive when the power went off. He was, as you would expect from a drummer, full of energy, and did the odd trick, flicking his drum sticks in to the air, which is a very brave thing to do when next to no one has come to see you.
The lead guitarist joined the drummer to knock out a heavy beat at one time, but otherwise, he just put in a good performance on the far side of the stage from us.
After their set me and Charlotte made our way to the other side of the venue so Charlotte could see if she could get any autographs. We hung around near the merch stand for a few minutes when she spotted the bassist. He duly obliged her with an autograph, and a quick chat; then she spotted the lead guitarist who did the same for her. Top blokes in my book.
She bought their album which was on sale at the gig and is now a bit of a fan, I think it's called public relations.
If I had to say an if you like so and so you will like ME, then it would be Muse, very much so.
2nd on stage was Lower than Atlantis. These boys needed little or no introduction to the crowd as a good percentage of the people had come to see them it seemed.
 |
| Lower Than Atlantis @ Waterfront Norwich |
Brash and full to the brim with confidence is all that needs saying about these boys, oh, and loud, really loud, well I am nearly 50!
These fellas got the mosh pit really rocking, and the whole place seemed to be one trod on toe away from a full on punch up, which, I think, is just what the band wanted, not the punch up, but the edgy feeling. Although this band was my least favourite of the evening I still enjoyed their energy, and I can absolutely understand why people love them.
Last, but by no means least, Twin Atlantic, the whole point of the journey to Norwich. They rocked, although nothing like their album they were still very good. If you listen to their album Free, although it is still without doubt rocky it’s a lot more subdued than they were live. This is almost definitely due to the over production you get with a studio album and all the instruments blending perfectly. Live, it’s like a fee for all, which I suppose it is really. The main problem with them though was distortion on the singing, caused by a poor mic I think, because even though the singer was singing louder than he may really have felt comfortable with, and that’s only my opinion, he still sang well. I've seen bands in the past who really should never be allowed near karaoke let alone a live stage with a paying audience.
Sam McTrusty, the singer with Twin Atlantic can definitely hold a tune, even when competing with substandard equipment. Unfortunately I have no photo of Twin Atlantic, due to me taking some terrible photos, the above 2 being the best of a very bad bunch.
So, would I go see them again? Yes, except maybe Lower than Atlantis, having said that, if they were the support band it wouldn’t stop me going.
Charlotte enjoyed herself, and let’s be honest, it was for her really, but, having a daughter with the same taste in music is a right bonus.
AGED ROCK RIGHT ON!
Wednesday 18 April 2012
I can't hear you because of the smell in here.
Went on the bus twice yesterday and went to the dentist with my daughter in between both trips. I thought the dentist waiting room would be rich pickings for stuff to write about, but alas no. It was not to be. Just the hushed tones of people speaking to one another. Slightly whispered so as not to be listened to.
Some waiting rooms you visit have the acoustics of the Albert Hall, others, like this one, are dead.
Even on the bus, both journeys that is, where fruitless.
People really do need to speak up a little.
Now I know that some folk will think its very mean talking about people when they have no chance to answer, but I never name the poor souls and let's be honest, you'd never recognise them.
Well, maybe the fire starter may recognise herself, and thinking about it, maybe Rufus Hounds sister might, but, hey ho I doubt they will read this so their lives will carry on.
It's really quite disappointing when nothing happens, and there's nothing to write about, but I suppose that's the way it is sometimes.
There was a bloke, having said that, on the bus on the way home who absolutely stunk of B,O. Really strong, the sort of smell that makes your eyes water and catch your breath, but apart from smelly there was nothing to report.
Me and Charlotte are going to Norwich for the weekend this Saturday to watch a band, so I'm hopeful of some quality stuff to write about there.
I'll keep you informed.
Some waiting rooms you visit have the acoustics of the Albert Hall, others, like this one, are dead.
Even on the bus, both journeys that is, where fruitless.
People really do need to speak up a little.
Now I know that some folk will think its very mean talking about people when they have no chance to answer, but I never name the poor souls and let's be honest, you'd never recognise them.
Well, maybe the fire starter may recognise herself, and thinking about it, maybe Rufus Hounds sister might, but, hey ho I doubt they will read this so their lives will carry on.
It's really quite disappointing when nothing happens, and there's nothing to write about, but I suppose that's the way it is sometimes.
There was a bloke, having said that, on the bus on the way home who absolutely stunk of B,O. Really strong, the sort of smell that makes your eyes water and catch your breath, but apart from smelly there was nothing to report.
Me and Charlotte are going to Norwich for the weekend this Saturday to watch a band, so I'm hopeful of some quality stuff to write about there.
I'll keep you informed.
Monday 16 April 2012
She's a fire starter, twisted fire starter
I love the bus, I'm not sure why I'm thinking of getting a car again. You hear all sorts on the bus, old girls mostly, chatting about stuff. Putting the world to rights.
This morning we got the bus home from town and listened intently to a regular gossip telling a women next to her that she was in a hurry to get home.
"You in a hurry?" said other women.
"Yes, gotta get home, then I'm back down town again"
"Why?"
"I think I may have left the cooker on"
"Oh god, still I ain't heard any fire engines yet!" A nice bit of consoling there.
"I've done it before" she informs her concerned acquaintance.
"Yeah, I did it when we were away a while back. We put the chip pan on to melt the fat, then went out for the day"
One question springs to mind here. Why would you put the chip pan on if you are going out for the day?
"Yes, the police had to break in with the fire brigade, the kitchen was black. Neighbours were shouting. I don't do it often though"
Well, call me old fashioned but this time, if it is on, will be twice, which in my book is way more than a good percentage of the population do it, twice more in fact.
"I flooded the place once as well." She informs her friend.
The women's an accident waiting to happen. I look at her and wonder how she got to such a good age, or if its the hard life she has put herself through which has made her look older than she is?
Sam turns to me and tells me that under no circumstance would we ever move next door to this women.
I'm contemplating walking home rather than chancing the bus.
"Did you?" Asks friend.
"Yes, the shower rail fell in to the bathroom sink and knocked the tap on, and the curtain fell in the sink and blocked the plug hole and overflow"
I'm sure I saw a similar sketch in Some mothers do 'ave 'em back in the 70s. One of those sketches you would watch laugh at and say how funny that would be if it really happened. This women is living the dream. She is a poor mans Frank Spencer.
Its a shame she didn't flood the place on the same day as the chip pan, she could have put the fire out without even being there, and saved the tax payers some money.
This morning we got the bus home from town and listened intently to a regular gossip telling a women next to her that she was in a hurry to get home.
"You in a hurry?" said other women.
"Yes, gotta get home, then I'm back down town again"
"Why?"
"I think I may have left the cooker on"
"Oh god, still I ain't heard any fire engines yet!" A nice bit of consoling there.
"I've done it before" she informs her concerned acquaintance.
"Yeah, I did it when we were away a while back. We put the chip pan on to melt the fat, then went out for the day"
One question springs to mind here. Why would you put the chip pan on if you are going out for the day?
"Yes, the police had to break in with the fire brigade, the kitchen was black. Neighbours were shouting. I don't do it often though"
Well, call me old fashioned but this time, if it is on, will be twice, which in my book is way more than a good percentage of the population do it, twice more in fact.
"I flooded the place once as well." She informs her friend.
The women's an accident waiting to happen. I look at her and wonder how she got to such a good age, or if its the hard life she has put herself through which has made her look older than she is?
Sam turns to me and tells me that under no circumstance would we ever move next door to this women.
I'm contemplating walking home rather than chancing the bus.
"Did you?" Asks friend.
"Yes, the shower rail fell in to the bathroom sink and knocked the tap on, and the curtain fell in the sink and blocked the plug hole and overflow"
I'm sure I saw a similar sketch in Some mothers do 'ave 'em back in the 70s. One of those sketches you would watch laugh at and say how funny that would be if it really happened. This women is living the dream. She is a poor mans Frank Spencer.
Its a shame she didn't flood the place on the same day as the chip pan, she could have put the fire out without even being there, and saved the tax payers some money.
Wednesday 11 April 2012
I'll have one of those please dear
For a little lighthearted moment I thought I would add the missing wedding anniversary years between 15 and 20, and maybe some more of the other missing years. After all why should it be more important to celebrate 15 years than to celebrate 16 or 17 years, it shouldn't.
So, here is the list, as given on the Internet.
1st - paper
2nd - cotton
3rd - leather
4th - books
5th - Wood or Clocks
6th - Iron
7th - Copper, Bronze or Brass
8th - Electrical Appliances
9th - Pottery
10th- Tin, Aluminium
11th- Steel
12th- silk or linen
13th- lace
14th- Ivory
15th- Crystal
20th - China
25th - Silver
30th - pearl
35th - Coral, Jade
40th - Ruby
45th - Sapphire
50th - Gold
55th - Emerald
60th - Diamond
So here are some of the missing years.
I think that 16 should be Plasticine, you cant beat a bit of Wallace and Gromit.
17, Perspex, a million household uses.
18, Cork, give the Mrs the cork, you get the bottle of 15 year old single malt. Honest, she will be over the moon, after all its the thought that counts.
19, Cheese cloth, there's nothing like a new blouse for the good lady. Boy will you go up in her estimations with this one fellas, just make sure you get the size right.
Having a look at some of the 'real' gifts if you celebrate your first year by buying her a copy of the Sun make sure you remove page three.
When it comes to the 5th year don't go down the clock route, its what people get when they retire, she will not be pleased.
The 6th year is not an Iron for pressing the clothes, for goodness sake don't make that mistake or you wont need to worry about the 7th year.
I assume that this list is quite up to date judging by the 8th. How over the moon will the wife be with a new washing machine, I mean, really, an electrical appliance!
12 and 13 are kind of a waste of time, and money, as any suggestion of dressing saucy in the bedroom should have gone right out of the window by now.
20 is China, a nice cup and saucer for the cups of tea you will both enjoy now. 21 and 22 may as well be, carpet slippers and nightie to really live the old and past it dream.
Anyway, this ends my tongue in cheek look at the world of wedding anniversary's. If you do decide to buy any of the alternate year gifts I have suggested please don't mention me.
So, here is the list, as given on the Internet.
1st - paper
2nd - cotton
3rd - leather
4th - books
5th - Wood or Clocks
6th - Iron
7th - Copper, Bronze or Brass
8th - Electrical Appliances
9th - Pottery
10th- Tin, Aluminium
11th- Steel
12th- silk or linen
13th- lace
14th- Ivory
15th- Crystal
20th - China
25th - Silver
30th - pearl
35th - Coral, Jade
40th - Ruby
45th - Sapphire
50th - Gold
55th - Emerald
60th - Diamond
So here are some of the missing years.
I think that 16 should be Plasticine, you cant beat a bit of Wallace and Gromit.
17, Perspex, a million household uses.
18, Cork, give the Mrs the cork, you get the bottle of 15 year old single malt. Honest, she will be over the moon, after all its the thought that counts.
19, Cheese cloth, there's nothing like a new blouse for the good lady. Boy will you go up in her estimations with this one fellas, just make sure you get the size right.
Having a look at some of the 'real' gifts if you celebrate your first year by buying her a copy of the Sun make sure you remove page three.
When it comes to the 5th year don't go down the clock route, its what people get when they retire, she will not be pleased.
The 6th year is not an Iron for pressing the clothes, for goodness sake don't make that mistake or you wont need to worry about the 7th year.
I assume that this list is quite up to date judging by the 8th. How over the moon will the wife be with a new washing machine, I mean, really, an electrical appliance!
12 and 13 are kind of a waste of time, and money, as any suggestion of dressing saucy in the bedroom should have gone right out of the window by now.
20 is China, a nice cup and saucer for the cups of tea you will both enjoy now. 21 and 22 may as well be, carpet slippers and nightie to really live the old and past it dream.
Anyway, this ends my tongue in cheek look at the world of wedding anniversary's. If you do decide to buy any of the alternate year gifts I have suggested please don't mention me.
Tuesday 10 April 2012
Miss quote, she's a lovely girl.
Oh, just checked and I have reached 2000 views, well done everybody.
Right, on with today's moan, sorry, blog.
As I have mentioned in previous posts I am without a car at the moment, well I am looking to rectify this in the next month or so.
I have been getting some quotes over the past day or so, as an uncle of Sam's has a Ford Fiesta for sale, which is dirt cheap.
I did have a Saab last time I was insured, and was paying about £270 per year for the insurance, so why is it that now, for a 1.3 Ford Fiesta the insurance companies are asking me to pay upwards of £320. The Saab was a 2lt turbo, this is a 1.3 grandadmobile, why the obscene rise in the price.
On another note regarding the thieving gits at the friendly insurance firms, how come they ask for driving convictions from the past 5 years? After 4 years, according to the law, I can remove them from my license, why do I need to declare them up to 5 years for these people. I know, I know, its a good way of making money, or am I being cynical. My 4 years will be up in September but I'll still need to inform them for a further year, robbery!
I was wondering really, if these points make a difference to the quotes, and boy yes they do!
I went through the online, long winded form filling, without declaring the points, just for the purpose of seeing the difference, with points, upwards of £320, without the points, cheapest quote, and most where around the same price, £167, wow.
I know, its my fault for getting the points, and I'm not denying that, but by law Ive spent them, I've done the time, so to speak!
Obviously when it comes to me getting the insurance I will declare the points.
Another thing about car insurance quotes. Why is that all the comparison sites I have been on ask if there are children under 16 in the house? Why would they need to ask this, its not like I'm going to let them drive the car, and even if I did they wouldn't be insured so they need not worry about paying out. What can be the reason for this question? I have looked for the answer on the web, and found a few forum links where the same thing was being asked. One answer was that it told the insurance company that you would be a responsible adult due to ferrying kids about, thus reducing the quote, please, come on, really? The only reason that insures ask questions is for looking at ways of charging more for the cover.
Have you had any convictions?
What is your job?
Do you have access to any other vehicle?
Are there any named drivers?
Do you have any children under 16?
Have you ever worn a green shirt?
Do you wear corduroy?
Ok, I know the last two ain't valid, but lets be honest, the last one should be. Saying yes to the last one could reduce your premium, due to the fact that no one is going to drive fast wearing cords, are they?
Anyway, I suppose I'll have to stomach the price and pay up if I want to get a car again.
Right, on with today's moan, sorry, blog.
As I have mentioned in previous posts I am without a car at the moment, well I am looking to rectify this in the next month or so.
I have been getting some quotes over the past day or so, as an uncle of Sam's has a Ford Fiesta for sale, which is dirt cheap.
I did have a Saab last time I was insured, and was paying about £270 per year for the insurance, so why is it that now, for a 1.3 Ford Fiesta the insurance companies are asking me to pay upwards of £320. The Saab was a 2lt turbo, this is a 1.3 grandadmobile, why the obscene rise in the price.
On another note regarding the thieving gits at the friendly insurance firms, how come they ask for driving convictions from the past 5 years? After 4 years, according to the law, I can remove them from my license, why do I need to declare them up to 5 years for these people. I know, I know, its a good way of making money, or am I being cynical. My 4 years will be up in September but I'll still need to inform them for a further year, robbery!
I was wondering really, if these points make a difference to the quotes, and boy yes they do!
I went through the online, long winded form filling, without declaring the points, just for the purpose of seeing the difference, with points, upwards of £320, without the points, cheapest quote, and most where around the same price, £167, wow.
I know, its my fault for getting the points, and I'm not denying that, but by law Ive spent them, I've done the time, so to speak!
Obviously when it comes to me getting the insurance I will declare the points.
Another thing about car insurance quotes. Why is that all the comparison sites I have been on ask if there are children under 16 in the house? Why would they need to ask this, its not like I'm going to let them drive the car, and even if I did they wouldn't be insured so they need not worry about paying out. What can be the reason for this question? I have looked for the answer on the web, and found a few forum links where the same thing was being asked. One answer was that it told the insurance company that you would be a responsible adult due to ferrying kids about, thus reducing the quote, please, come on, really? The only reason that insures ask questions is for looking at ways of charging more for the cover.
Have you had any convictions?
What is your job?
Do you have access to any other vehicle?
Are there any named drivers?
Do you have any children under 16?
Have you ever worn a green shirt?
Do you wear corduroy?
Ok, I know the last two ain't valid, but lets be honest, the last one should be. Saying yes to the last one could reduce your premium, due to the fact that no one is going to drive fast wearing cords, are they?
Anyway, I suppose I'll have to stomach the price and pay up if I want to get a car again.
Friday 6 April 2012
What do you mean, buy it now means buying it now?
Went out for a nice walk today, along with Sam, Charlotte and Indy, no Mark unfortunately, he's still surgically attached to his computer. He hasn't been out with us, or me, since the last time i mentioned it on here. He spends so much time inside that he will, eventually, become transparent, through lack of skin pigment.
Anyway, that aside, its his loss, we went and did some Geocaching. We went up towards Chilton and found 2 caches.
Nice caches hidden enough so as to not make them to obvious. I have put a couple of photos of us in the area. The scenery around there is really nice. Its hard to believe that about half a mile away is a very busy industrial estate.
Got a few days off work this weekend, lovely jubely, although, having said that, we are not up to a great deal, just a few days off.
Missing not having a car now, starting to get a bit fed up with having to walk everywhere. It looks like it will be about July when we get one again. I don't mind walking as mentioned at the start of this post, but if we need anything its a walk wherever we need to go. Into town is usually a walk down and the bus home, which is ok.
I'd love to think that when we get a car again we will continue to walk some places still, but I know I wont. Sam and Charlotte are always out and about with Indy, so they should carry on walking some places. It will be nice to venture further afield again, like Colchester or Bury St Edmund's, getting the bus to these places is a real pain, not to mention not a lot cheaper that the bus. With the car you just get so much more freedom, go when you like and come home when you like. I may take a trip to London during the summer holidays this year, should be fun.
On another note.
Had another non payer on eBay the other day, why do these people do this. He has private feedback, I wonder why?
I'd like to smack him round the face with a wet sock full of fish, but I wont, a waste of fish. His eBay name is quality-sp, quality? Tosser more like. I can understand sometimes that you cant go through with a transaction, but ignoring my emails is just rude, there is no need.
It was a buy it now sale, maybe he didn't realise that if you click the buy it now button on a buy it now style auction, then you actually buy it now! Its a radical concept, I fully understand that, in as much as a buy it now being an immediate buy it now, how hard is that to understand, well, for old QUALITY-SP very hard. Maybe he should look in the any other items to see if he can purchase an brain cells.
Still not smoking although the other day was unusually tough, and was the closest I have been to giving up giving up, but I got through it, what a hero!
Nice caches hidden enough so as to not make them to obvious. I have put a couple of photos of us in the area. The scenery around there is really nice. Its hard to believe that about half a mile away is a very busy industrial estate.
 |
| Looking towards Sudbury |
 |
| Looking towards Waldingfield |
Missing not having a car now, starting to get a bit fed up with having to walk everywhere. It looks like it will be about July when we get one again. I don't mind walking as mentioned at the start of this post, but if we need anything its a walk wherever we need to go. Into town is usually a walk down and the bus home, which is ok.
I'd love to think that when we get a car again we will continue to walk some places still, but I know I wont. Sam and Charlotte are always out and about with Indy, so they should carry on walking some places. It will be nice to venture further afield again, like Colchester or Bury St Edmund's, getting the bus to these places is a real pain, not to mention not a lot cheaper that the bus. With the car you just get so much more freedom, go when you like and come home when you like. I may take a trip to London during the summer holidays this year, should be fun.
On another note.
Had another non payer on eBay the other day, why do these people do this. He has private feedback, I wonder why?
I'd like to smack him round the face with a wet sock full of fish, but I wont, a waste of fish. His eBay name is quality-sp, quality? Tosser more like. I can understand sometimes that you cant go through with a transaction, but ignoring my emails is just rude, there is no need.
It was a buy it now sale, maybe he didn't realise that if you click the buy it now button on a buy it now style auction, then you actually buy it now! Its a radical concept, I fully understand that, in as much as a buy it now being an immediate buy it now, how hard is that to understand, well, for old QUALITY-SP very hard. Maybe he should look in the any other items to see if he can purchase an brain cells.
Still not smoking although the other day was unusually tough, and was the closest I have been to giving up giving up, but I got through it, what a hero!
Sunday 1 April 2012
Why have a dog and bark yourself
So the tanker drivers will not be going on strike, just yet, but man alive are they earning the overtime out of the panic buying. Who's fault is it that we are panic buying, why haven't the government told us not to panic? Ah, because it was the government who told us to, how terribly responsible of them to think of us in that way, you'd think they had an ulterior motive, Tax revenue maybe? Well, so long as they don't tell us to store petrol in cans in our garage, now that would be irresponsible.
Now we all like a bit of overtime, even me when I want something, so I am thinking of writing to my local MP and informing him that there is an up coming world shortage of dog and cat food.
I can see the pound signs now, as he stands up in the House of Commons to tell them of this great predicament that will hit the country very soon, and that everyone should rush out now and buy as much as they can carry. Note that it may take a while to reduce the stock levels, due to the fact that as no one has a car with petrol in it we will have to carry the food home, thus reducing the speed we can actually panic buy at. It may mean more trips to your local stockist, but think of the exercise!
If you give up smoking not only will you save money, but you will be able to jog to your local pet shop speeding up your purchase times. Giving up smoking will also mean you have a few extra pounds in your pocket allowing you to maybe hire a few none pet owning friends to cart some food with you, just think of the fun you could all have, queueing at the pet shop amongst other forward thinking pet owners, for you cat or dogs favourite food.
On another note, today is the day that air passenger duty rises by 8%. Making it even more expensive to have a holiday, or trip abroad. Worry not though, as our caring government has done this to help save stocks of petrol for us worried drivers. Due to this price increase in airfares no one will be able to afford both trips abroad, and to drive a car, so flights will not be booked, airlines wont need the fuel, more for us, everyone's a winner, well, the government is anyway.
Whatever next VAT on hot pasties, and hot sausage rolls?
Now we all like a bit of overtime, even me when I want something, so I am thinking of writing to my local MP and informing him that there is an up coming world shortage of dog and cat food.
I can see the pound signs now, as he stands up in the House of Commons to tell them of this great predicament that will hit the country very soon, and that everyone should rush out now and buy as much as they can carry. Note that it may take a while to reduce the stock levels, due to the fact that as no one has a car with petrol in it we will have to carry the food home, thus reducing the speed we can actually panic buy at. It may mean more trips to your local stockist, but think of the exercise!
If you give up smoking not only will you save money, but you will be able to jog to your local pet shop speeding up your purchase times. Giving up smoking will also mean you have a few extra pounds in your pocket allowing you to maybe hire a few none pet owning friends to cart some food with you, just think of the fun you could all have, queueing at the pet shop amongst other forward thinking pet owners, for you cat or dogs favourite food.
On another note, today is the day that air passenger duty rises by 8%. Making it even more expensive to have a holiday, or trip abroad. Worry not though, as our caring government has done this to help save stocks of petrol for us worried drivers. Due to this price increase in airfares no one will be able to afford both trips abroad, and to drive a car, so flights will not be booked, airlines wont need the fuel, more for us, everyone's a winner, well, the government is anyway.
Whatever next VAT on hot pasties, and hot sausage rolls?
Monday 26 March 2012
Rufus Hounds sister
One of the least attractive traits in a women has to be a beard. Fortunately not all of them have one, perish the thought, but some do.Me and Sam had a walk in to town today, and we usually get the bus home. Well in the queue at the bus station was Rufus Hounds sister. She never had so much a 5 o'clock shadow, more like a half past eight shadow. I can only assume that in the early years of her life she must have slipped a razor around her face, and judging by how coarse the stubble was she still does. Shaving it now must be a vain attempt to keep it under control, or to give her that rugged look, who knows.
She looks like she is wearing a balaclava. I know what some of you may be thinking, its cruel, but its to late, the damage is done, I've written about her here already, maybe I shouldn't, but I have.
It was quite amusing in that one of the women hairy was with asked said to another women how nice her hair looked, I had to double take to make sure she wasn't talking to Mrs Hound, how cheeky would that have been.
"Your hair looks nice, but I still think you should have left the sideburns. Oh yes a goatee really suits you dear".
Heaven forbid she's married, kissing her husband goodnight could be quite traumatic. Velcro! Stuck together all night, face to face in the eternal kiss. The ripping sound as one of them turns over in their sleep, followed by the scream of pain.
I wonder if she applies after shave? I couldn't smell anything whilst in the queue, but then again, she hadn't shaved for a few days, well I hope it was days and not just yesterday. Anyway, I thought I would just update you on that little event as it tickled me, not her beard you understand, we never got that close.
Just a quick footnote. Me and Sam are still not smoking, its been a couple of months now. We still get the odd strong craving some days, which are as strong as they ever have been but now they just last a minute or two, and not half an hour. We are enjoying spending our pocket money, the money we would have spent each month on cigarettes. We split the money between us and buy something we don't really need, but never the less want.
I think not!
A few weeks ago I received some rather disturbing news. I don't mind bad news, I can normally cope with that ok, within reason I suppose, but this, well this was as I say, disturbing.
I'm of an age now where certain things no longer really matter to much. Getting old means that you have to deal with aches and pains, doing stuff you wouldn't have done a few years back, not being able to do other stuff you could do a few years back. Being able to embarrass the kids easily is one of the perks of getting older and it can be good fun.
However, there are certain things that must remain a no-no, things that age is just not responsible for, and it is unfair to blame it on that.
The disturbing news I received from my friend, which was blamed on age, is the fact that he has been out and purchased 2 pairs of corduroy trousers. Now I can make allowances for most faux pars, be they fashion or anything else, but this, well this is just beyond being forgiven.
He is one of my oldest friends so obviously I approached the subject with care, so as to not hurt his feelings. I told him that if he ever came round my house in them that would be it, I would shun him on my doorstep. Caring enough I think, some times tact is not the way.
He seemed to take it quite well, but the other day he informed me that he is getting another pair. I get the feeling he is trying to corner the corduroy market, thus holding the other corduroy wearers to ransom by artificially inflating the price on the open market. Keep watching the news and I guarantee that within a few weeks the headline will be, "world shortage of corduroy, only one source now available to buyers". There will be a corduroy market, the price will fluctuate like gold.
I sometimes wonder if there has been some form of outside influence in his decision making, maybe the wife. If so it could almost be classed as bullying, domestic abuse, husband beating! Maybe its peer pressure, like when we was at school and one of our friends had new trainers, or t-shirt and we had to get one the same. Maybe my friend is hanging out with folk a lot older than him, and that corduroy is the order of the day for those of a certain age, even so, just stop it now, for the sake of our friendship.
I'm of an age now where certain things no longer really matter to much. Getting old means that you have to deal with aches and pains, doing stuff you wouldn't have done a few years back, not being able to do other stuff you could do a few years back. Being able to embarrass the kids easily is one of the perks of getting older and it can be good fun.
However, there are certain things that must remain a no-no, things that age is just not responsible for, and it is unfair to blame it on that.
The disturbing news I received from my friend, which was blamed on age, is the fact that he has been out and purchased 2 pairs of corduroy trousers. Now I can make allowances for most faux pars, be they fashion or anything else, but this, well this is just beyond being forgiven.
He is one of my oldest friends so obviously I approached the subject with care, so as to not hurt his feelings. I told him that if he ever came round my house in them that would be it, I would shun him on my doorstep. Caring enough I think, some times tact is not the way.
He seemed to take it quite well, but the other day he informed me that he is getting another pair. I get the feeling he is trying to corner the corduroy market, thus holding the other corduroy wearers to ransom by artificially inflating the price on the open market. Keep watching the news and I guarantee that within a few weeks the headline will be, "world shortage of corduroy, only one source now available to buyers". There will be a corduroy market, the price will fluctuate like gold.
I sometimes wonder if there has been some form of outside influence in his decision making, maybe the wife. If so it could almost be classed as bullying, domestic abuse, husband beating! Maybe its peer pressure, like when we was at school and one of our friends had new trainers, or t-shirt and we had to get one the same. Maybe my friend is hanging out with folk a lot older than him, and that corduroy is the order of the day for those of a certain age, even so, just stop it now, for the sake of our friendship.
Sunday 25 March 2012
Hurry up family come on
Must be getting old, came in from the pub with Sam and the kids absolutely knackered. I am know having a much needed Sunday after diner rest.
How is it that we ate at the pub, Sunday diner, and come home tired yet if we had eaten at home we would be fine. Do you think they put something in it?
On a completely different note. It has just been announced on the local news that a car driver escaped serious injury when a rock was thrown from a bridge over the A14. There was a spate of these incidents on the A12 a few months ago. Trouble is, while the press give these idiots publicity they will think its cool. It also means that others think its cool to do something that will make the news so they join in, and you end up with a fad, all it needs then is a cool name.
The press have been guilty of this kind of notorious fame for years now. Giving things a cool name, like joy riding, and happy slapping. Don't make it sound cool and give it air time and it will die out.
It's pretty much the same thing with terrorists, don't give them publicity. They do these things to get noticed and it therefore goes that if no one hears about it they don't achieve their goal.
I understand that this is a very simplistic point of view but I really believe there's something in it.
We are in the age of small time fame and some people will do anything for it.
How is it that we ate at the pub, Sunday diner, and come home tired yet if we had eaten at home we would be fine. Do you think they put something in it?
On a completely different note. It has just been announced on the local news that a car driver escaped serious injury when a rock was thrown from a bridge over the A14. There was a spate of these incidents on the A12 a few months ago. Trouble is, while the press give these idiots publicity they will think its cool. It also means that others think its cool to do something that will make the news so they join in, and you end up with a fad, all it needs then is a cool name.
The press have been guilty of this kind of notorious fame for years now. Giving things a cool name, like joy riding, and happy slapping. Don't make it sound cool and give it air time and it will die out.
It's pretty much the same thing with terrorists, don't give them publicity. They do these things to get noticed and it therefore goes that if no one hears about it they don't achieve their goal.
I understand that this is a very simplistic point of view but I really believe there's something in it.
We are in the age of small time fame and some people will do anything for it.
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