Sunday 29 April 2012

A Gregg's, a Gregg's my money for a Gregg's.

Now what I am about to say may come as a surprise. I love Gregg's the bakers, their sausage rolls to be specific are to die for.
Here, for me, is a typical visit.
You would never tell by my svelte like frame, but I do, I just disguise it well!
The trouble with going in there is there's never seemingly enough to go round. Most days the queue will stretch to the entrance, which usually amounts to about 15 or so people. I join the Back of the line in the vain pursuit of my fix of sausage roll and glance along the stream of people to see if I can second guess what they might purchase. I check the hot counter and count the sausage rolls, I then glance at the people. There are at least 25 sausage rolls left and 15 folk in the queue. 7 old people, it's doubtful they will want sausage rolls so i can discount them. They will more than likely buy floury bloomers, medium sliced, or baps, older folk do seem to like floury bloomers and baps.
Anyway, taking the 7 old folk out of the equation this leaves 8 possible day spoilers. 1 girl with a child in the buggy,.Ok, cake for child, possible sausage roll for her. She's thin, and being thin with such a young child's means there is a good chance she looks after herself. 2 blokes in smart suits, one has already picked a sandwich, how greedy would he have to be to buy a sausage roll as well.
The other chap in the suit is buying some cakes, result.
Girl with child does indeed buy a sausage roll leaving about 24. First suit man just takes the sandwich and goes on his way. Next in the queue is a contractor, bloody hell, he may take a few.
8 please!
Greedy sod, although deep down I know only 7 will be for him and the other one for his labourer.
16 left and still I'm way back in the line.
A couple of young lads next, they might take some, they certainly don't look like cake types. Would it look cool walking along eating? I do, but I'm older than them, and therefore my cool days are way behind me. It would not be that unusual to see me in a shirt bedecked in crumbs.
Anyway, they take 2 each, I start to sweat.
12 left. I know they have some more in the oven but there way to hot. They have a filing of lava not meat.
I glance along the line and reevaluate the situation. 12 left and 7 more people.
Next up is a couple, ok, I try to work out the chances of them buying sausage rolls. Well even if they take 1 each that still leaves 10, and with 5 more in the queue I imagine I'm in good shape.
After the couple is another single girl, at the most she would take 1 I think to myself. After her is a bloke in smart attire, then comes another girl and right in front of me is a bloke on his own. Blue trousers, dark jacket, slightly dishevelled hair and trainers.
The couple just buy donuts, the girl buys a loaf, didn't see that coming, the bloke behind her buy 4 sausage rolls, 6 left and just the bloke in front of me left. He looks like an office bloke. Ok he may take 2 that leaves 4 which is how many I want. He turns as he approaches the counter, and his jacket falls open to revile the same logo as the greedy sod who took 8. I try to make him think of pasties of wraps, anything else, just by thought projection, but alas no.
6 sausage rolls please.
Aaaarrrgggghhhh!

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I would like to believe that these people were deliberately placed in front of you not just to tease you but also to help save you. I see that you are using predictive text as you had "svelte like frame" instead of the "bell like frame" that you had obviously meant to put. lol
Anyway your needs are more than met in Iceland where they now do a whole range of Greggs products including the sausage rolls at £1.50 for four.
If you think I'm gonna sign this - think again!