Saturday 7 February 2015

Friendly farts and snot bubbles

There comes a time as a bloke, in some friendships, when you cross over the threshold between being a friend and being a mate. Not so much with other blokes, it just kind of evolves there, I'm referring to women. You know that time has come when you are quite happy to fart in their presence, without the merest hint of embarrassment (on your part anyway). They are usually over the moon at this, as I'm sure you can imagine. Having an awful odor rushing up their bugle as a sign of friendship must seem a little strange from the outside, but it means your count them the same as you would another bloke, high praise indeed, and I am sure they appreciate this acceptance in to the world of the male.
Another thing came to me the other day. I was informed by someone that, whilst out walking, she blew an uncontrolled bubble of snot out of her nose. Yes snot, like a child would! She told me that to do this at her age was not right, making it sound that it was OK for me at my age to do it though. This made me ponder if there is an age, other than in your very early years, when it could be construed as socially acceptable to blow snot bubbles from your nose. I hope not, as I feel that over the course of time I have lost the ability to perform this skill, if indeed it is a skill. I think it must be, as it cant be a gift, as this would have stayed with me over the years, also, gift does not sound right.
 'I bestow upon you, young man, the ability to blow snot bubbles from your nasal orifice', nah, absolutely not a gift.