Monday 23 April 2012

Is it a bird, is it a plane, no, its Mattress Man!


Ok, I am getting old. I kind of knew it, but being away Saturday night in Norwich for the gig has done nothing to dispel the feeling.

The hotel/B&B we stayed in was ok, but, the room they gave us was on the ground floor, near the stairs and right next to the street door, all the makings of not being the quietest position in the building.

I don't really want to moan, it wasn't that bad really, the hosts where very friendly and it was situated in a prime spot for us. I'm going to moan about certain aspects though. The noise mostly; who in god’s name goes out at 02:00, not just one person, oh no, 2 or 3 times people came down the stairs at different times, and they didn't have carpet slippers on believe me, no sir, hobnailed boots where the order of the day. Their last thought being as they went out, should we pull the street door closed gently, nah, sod it, that would delay us by a second or 2, let it slam, why should they care, it’s not like it’s a hotel and others may be trying to sleep, god no.

Now I don't sleep well in a strange room anyway, and I think that as I realise this it makes it worse, so I don't need listening to herds of wildebeests roaming majestically right past my room, never mind across the plains. The room was comfortable, if not over furnished. The TV sucked a bit though, being one of the large backed old school TVs. It may be the case that the owners rent out the space in the back of the TV as a small single occupancy room, who knows!
 
Me and Mattress Man

Breakfast was very nice; I went for the low calorie full English, bacon, egg, beans, sausage, toast and one of my 5 a day, tomato. To drink we had a jug of juice, which counted for at least another of our 5 a day, so all round a very wholesome and good for you breakfast, I can feel the weight falling off, one of those meals you eat where you actually lose weight whilst eating it.

The flush on the toilet gave a rather nice fart noise when pressed, which didn’t fail to make Charlotte cry with laughter every time I pressed it. Upon walking out she would greet me with a “was that you”? To which I would reply, no, it was the flush. Not a great sound when you just walk out of the toilet, it’s a good job me and Charlotte have the same sense of humour. She flushed it a couple of times this was followed by her killing herself laughing from the other side of the door, which in turn made me chuckle.

When we are out and about Charlotte has an eagle eye for money on the pavement, pennies through to pound coins, she can spot them from yards away. Well imagine my surprise when at the concert, whilst the main band was on stage she falls to the floor, what the hells she doing down there? Up she comes, little grin on her face, “I found a pound.”

Its pitch black in here, I couldn’t even see my shoe, let alone a coin on the floor. I asked her how she saw it. I put my foot on something and realised it was a pound coin from the thickness. Bloody hell, super sensitive feet our girl, she can gauge the denomination of a coin just from treading on it.

On our way to Castle Mall on the Sunday morning we decided to have our picture taken with Mattress Man (it's a shop not a theme park), what a guy! Charlotte wouldn’t let me upload hers, so here’s mine, I'll cop the flack my shoulders are broad.


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