Bob a job

Who remembers Bob a job, well sod Bob, give me a job.

I know, I know, slightly controversial, a Brit wanting to work, well it is according to our government anyway. Did they not say that the Eastern Europeans come here because we don't want to work? 

I DO!

Shut up you fool of course you don't, there's only the crap jobs we don't want to do left anyway. You know, those jobs working for those factories and business that obviously didn't exist before the open borders, the jobs obviously no one did before, or am I being a trifle cynical?

I suppose I could buy myself 4 cans of Special Brew (other super strong brain rot is available) and sit on the town hall steps and not have to look for work, and just claim the JSA, is it really that easy? 

I've been informed I must spend 35 hours a week looking for work to earn my dole money. I really don't have a problem with doing something to earn it but there's only so much time, after the first search, that you can spend looking.

And what about our half brained friend on the town hall steps with his Special Brew, does he spend 35 hours a week looking for work, I'll bet he don't spend 35 hours a week able to focus, let alone look for a job.

Oh well, rant over. 

Signing on day tomorrow, deep joy. 

Now where did I put that can of larger.

EU referyawndum

Its here, at last, after the longest build up in the history of politics, the EU referendum. I would say thank goodness for that, however I fear it may be followed by the longest debrief in the history of politics, and wow won't that be thrilling. Did that sound sincere enough?
Its been one great long smugathon as far as I can tell. Instead of kissing babies during the campaign both sides have been kissing our arses to get your vote.
Im of course going to vote, why wouldn't you? Why would someone let a bunch of strangers decide their future? Doesn't make sense to me at all.
Am I going to tell you how Im voting, erm, nope why should I, Im not asking how your voting. To be honest I don't really care how your voting just so long as you do. How you vote won't change either my thinking, or make me change what I think of you one bit, you know I love you and that will never change, well, unless you get a nasty disease, or that rash comes back!
On a lighter note, its stopped raining so that must mean summer is here!
Quick run you may get to the polling station without getting moist.

Friendly farts and snot bubbles

There comes a time as a bloke, in some friendships, when you cross over the threshold between being a friend and being a mate. Not so much with other blokes, it just kind of evolves there, I'm referring to women. You know that time has come when you are quite happy to fart in their presence, without the merest hint of embarrassment (on your part anyway). They are usually over the moon at this, as I'm sure you can imagine. Having an awful odor rushing up their bugle as a sign of friendship must seem a little strange from the outside, but it means your count them the same as you would another bloke, high praise indeed, and I am sure they appreciate this acceptance in to the world of the male.
Another thing came to me the other day. I was informed by someone that, whilst out walking, she blew an uncontrolled bubble of snot out of her nose. Yes snot, like a child would! She told me that to do this at her age was not right, making it sound that it was OK for me at my age to do it though. This made me ponder if there is an age, other than in your very early years, when it could be construed as socially acceptable to blow snot bubbles from your nose. I hope not, as I feel that over the course of time I have lost the ability to perform this skill, if indeed it is a skill. I think it must be, as it cant be a gift, as this would have stayed with me over the years, also, gift does not sound right.
 'I bestow upon you, young man, the ability to blow snot bubbles from your nasal orifice', nah, absolutely not a gift.