2am and I've been woken by what sounds like either, the most incompetent of burglars or the most blasè, either way it sounds like we have a visitor.
So, it goes without saying that the first thing one does in a situation like this is; tuck your body completely in under the duvet, nothing can get you now. No harm can come to someone who is adopting the 'anti-bogyman' approach to self preservation.
I lay, tucked in, for 5 minutes listening to thumps and bangs. They sound remarkable close to the bedroom door.
Bugger it I think, I need to find out what this is. I look across at Nicki and ponder waking her to send her, however, shes already awake and making no signs of leaving the bed. I slip some trousers on, I dont want to scare the neighbor's if I need to chase the bugger down the street now do I.
I creep over to the bedroom door and slowly turn the handle. Peering into the gloom i notice a dark patch on the floor in the bathroom. I reach in and pull the light on.
Vera is there, laying flat on the ground thumping another f**king mouse. She glances up at me like I've disturbed her, she actually gives me the skunk eye.
This time she has however murdered the mouse, we can see some of its life force soaking into the bath mat.
The mouse gets tossed out of the window and we both get back into bed wide awake.
I did take the opportunity while out of bed to have my old persons midnight wee though, Haha, a little win on my part.
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