Puppy class

My daily exercise normally involves walking the dogs around the estate with Nicki. It is, most of the time, a loop of about a mile or so. Not long, but certainly long enough with our three dogs.

Tinker, the biggest of the three is a twat, no, really, she is a complete arse of a dog.
It would be quicker to list things she likes as opposed to what she doesn't like.
The things she doesn't like consist of, Lorries, busses, dogs, cats, some (most) people, and the one that always winds her up, motorbikes. (This list is not exhaustive)
Well, anyway, while out walking just Tink yesterday we saw a friend of mine riding his motorcycle, cue the dog going mental.
Sorry, I shouted at my friend, she doesn't like motorbikes.
It's not a motorbike, it's a scooter he informs me, with a smile on his face.
We stand and have a chat for a few minutes about stuff, and nonsense, which we are both very good at discussing, he does the stuff part, I do the nonsense.
Well, anyway, after this revelation about it being a scooter and not a motorbike I have a very difficult hour and half at home with Tinker, trying to explain to her the difference between the two different types of transport. I think she did actually find my powerpoint presentation rather informative.
She sits, content, in front of me wagging her tail, tongue hanging out of her face, listening to me drone on about how she was wrong to assume it was a motorbike.
After being chastised and ridiculed for her absolute stupidity she goes back outside to bark at fresh air.
She is, without doubt, beyond help.

COVID-19.........n n n n Nineteen

Kids off school, their not in class
At home there's nowt to wipe your arse
The bog role drought of 2020
couldn't get a roll of Plenty.

This home schoolings beyond a joke
Its nearly driven me back to smoke
The way they learn, the things they do
I haven't got an f'ing clue

Will lockdown ever be relaxed
bikini lines to be re waxed
Cant strut about with too much flare
when your over run with pubic hair

Once more we trot off to the fridge
One piece of cheese, oh just a smidge
and pickle just the smallest smear
all washed down with lots of beer.

Im a Lockdown isolation drunk
Im a flabby unfit anti-hunk
An all alone sad alcoholic
I used that just to rhyme with bollock

Cant have it end though, not to soon
Look again, the end of June
We understand it might take time
Slowly slowly, it will be fine.