Pout for me darling

Another day of waking up and thinking are we there yet. I'm starting to know exactly how a kid feels on a long car journey.

It's not that it's boring, I think I'm coping ok, mainly due to the fact that I have a boredom threshold on a par with Mount Everest. I can sit, just sit, to be honest, I don't think many can 'just sit' better than me. That said, it is nice now and again to do something.

Today we managed to acquire some flour, the boy brought it home, 2 bags, 2 whole bags.

Flour, I'm sure has got itself a street value now, it's as rare as a modest sentence coming out of Donald Trumps face.

I was toying with the idea of bagging it up in 10gram zip lock bags and getting me a little group of kids to, ahem, distribute it around the estate, but then I thought, nah sod it, its ours.

I can picture it now, all these worn out women with bad hair and ragged nails desperate for flour (blokes do look raged too but it didn't seem as amusing to me).

'Got any self raising mate, I need me some self raising'

Me 'Nah sorry love, only got plain, plain any good?'

'No, no, I need self raising'

Me 'got and raising agent'.............?

Right, lets stop that, its silly.

I'm just waiting to see the real girls at the end of this. No manicures, no hairdressers, no, ahem, plump lips. No more pouting. Real photos of real people. Gonna be some seriously busy beauticians after this all clears up, not to mention hairdressers.

I even think that the mullet could make a welcome return for us blokes. How glad am I that I never lost the belief it would come back. Finally I'm going to look fashionable, (I nearly said again then).

All joking aside though, us blokes definitely have it easier than you girls, we'll just look rugged, you, unfortunately, will look haggered, but we'll still love ya.

I'm sorry, what did he say he'd done!

So, we sit in doors most days now, listening to each others moans and groans, kids mainly. The birds outside have never sounded so happy.

Nature, it would seem, is thumbing its nose at us poor souls stuck indoors.

What can we do with ourselves during this time, hobbies we thought long lost to having to much 'important' stuff to do? Maybe, maybe not. Some of the past hobbies have long since been discarded, or sold in my case; I can hear my family and close friends telling me,”told you you should have kept that stuff”, yeah, whatever.

I have dragged up a couple of previous hobbies, long thought lost to being to busy. Painting, and writing to name them both. Past a happy hour or three painting over the past few days, which was nice.

There has been another form of painting done too, one I'm not quite so, ahem, keen on.....walls and skirting boards. Good god I hate decorating, which anyone who has lived with me during the past, erm, entirety of my life, would be only to happy to vouch for.

I was tasked with decorating the living room around 18 months ago, which means at that time we went out and bought all the stuff, so, when this natural reset happened the old, we cant really go out and buy it excuse wants going to cut mustard. Bugger it.

The thing with the living room wasn't just the painting, oh no, there was wallpaper involved. Now I'm no painter and decorator so I really wasn't looking forward to that part.

So, after, I think it was, 4 days, the room was done, well, as done as it was going to be. So now what? Lock-down means those jobs we didn't have time for before are suddenly doable; its a living hell for someone as, how can I put this nicely, ah yes, bone idol as I am.

The dining room needs decorating too, if you fancy it? We have the paint for that.

Now, in normal times there would be about 3 years between rooms, this was looking like there wouldn't even be 3 days.

Well, as hard as this might be for some to grasp, I did it, I painted 2 rooms in the same year, no, scratch that, the same month, THE SAME MONTH, and you know what, they both look pretty groovy.

Well, I think that will do for today's update, back to pondering stuff.

Oh God, what have I done now.

A couple of weeks ago a friend, renowned for getting others involved in activities posted an ad on her Facebook page; it was to enter and be trained in, The Great East Swim 2020.

Signing up includes a 12 week open water swim course, entry to the event itself, access to physio  and fitness and nutrition class, it also includes wetsuits use. 

It's for people who dont train very much, and are not fit. I, over the past couple of years, have managed quite easily, to fit into both those groups. 

The induction for the course is towards the end of March when I need to prove to the trainer that I can swim two lengths of a pool. At the moment it will be close, and not pretty. I cant swim far at all doing the breathing technique, I'm all head out of the water and thrash, its bloody ugly to be honest. 

This chap has the unenviable task of turning a two length thrasher into a 34 length side breather, he'll deserve a medal.

Anyway, I'll keep you updated with my progress, minus any pictures of me in the wetsuits, after all, to see that you need only Google seal pictures.