He shoots .....He saves

I used to be, once upon a time, a goalkeeper. Not of any particular note but I like to think, had I had a father influence in my younger years, to nurture me along, I might, just might have been, half decent.

I also dream, although I can very rarely remember any of the detail. Most of the ones I do remember are just plain wired. I can safely say, apart from the falling dream where you jump, I never ever act them out, until last night.

I was playing in goal, not in any particular team or tournament,  just a game of football. It may have been an important fixture but I can't remember that part.

A cross swung in from my right, waist height towards the edge of the 6 yard box. So, not on target but a cross to be attacked. I dived out and stopped the ball with my left hand and pulled it to the ground, still in one hand. I spotted an attacker sliding in and therefore needed to secure possession by grasping the ball with both hands. I slapped my right hand down onto the side of the ball, or what I was dreaming was the ball. I had in fact taken possession of Nicki, my partner. One hand was rested on the back of her head and the other, taking control of the ball, slapped down the side of her face. Needless to say, we both awoke with a start, and a moment of puzzlement. Fortunately I'd not bought the right hand down with a huge amount f of force, just enough to wake a sleeping partner.

The moral of this sorry tale.
It's a good job I'm not a continental keeper or, I may have punched it clear..   

Sexercise

I publish my running and cycling activities on a site called Strava, for my less active friends this is a site that shows the people you connect with just what you've been up to exercise wise. I use it when I've been out and can normally bank on getting well into double figure likes, however........

For the last few weeks I've been a lazy bum; its a mixture of, work hours, weather and just a general malaise on my part. I make no excuses about, being injured or such like, I'm just bone idol.
Sunday I thought it would be quite funny to post my weekend activity, sex, yes, sex, yes 53 year olds still 'do it'. Controversial I know but, hey, most people do it, and at my age, boy does it take it out of you. So I thought to myself, that's more of a workout than I've done for a while, so I'm blooming counting that. I squared it with my partner and she chuckled and said, yep that's fine. Its been live on Strava for a day and a bit and has attracted two,  yes two likes.

I can honestly say that I didn't realise just how incredibly prim and proper my friends are. Its either that or they just don't think that's a workout! I can assure you that I worked a bloody site harder than some of the stuff Ive done in the past which attracted lots of likes. But they were real workouts, like running and stuff I hear you cry, yeah right, my heart rate hasn't been as high as it was Saturday for a long time.
So I suppose what I'm trying to say here is, loosen up folk, life is way to short to be serious all the time. It was meant to be funny, treat it as such, please.

Oh, and have a nice Christmas, and don't forget, plenty of exercise. :-)

Alarmed!!!

I leapt from my seat and was just about to make my way smartly to the fire exit, when I realised that the horrendous din ringing out in the cafe wasn't the fire alarm but some blomin woman's ring tone.

Wow, that's a seriously awful noise. Ear piercingly shrill. No melody, no tune, just pure........sound!

HELLO, she bellowed across the room, she didn't need a phone.

Two minutes silence and it sounds again. I half expect the fire brigade to turn up.

She doesn't even look embarrassed, remarkable!

Coffee drank we venture around the store to by some groceries that I need at home.
Forgetting that the car is broken and I've cycled into town I set about buying way more than I can fit in my rucksack, let alone haul home (all up hill I might add). Its when I get to the checkout that it dawns on me about the car........bugger!
Still, think of the strength training.