Death.....What is it good for?????????

Well to be truthful I'm not to sure.
I don't profess to being an expert, nor am I overly religious, but I do give the death question a bit of thought now and again.
I wouldn't say I sit around with my head in my hands, moaning Oh woe is me, nor do I lose sleep over it, I just ponder the question "is this it?"
I tend to write these blogs on the fly, nothing scripted, just an initial thought and I then let my fingers run across the keyboard, my fingers are not ugly (see last blog post).
I think about the fact that surely this cant be it, one attempt and that's your lot, what about the folk who put a lot of effort in? Nope, there must definitely be more to it.
We hear all sort of stories about near death experiences, the fact that they are so similar may not mean anything really, it just means people listen to others, but we cant dismiss them out of hand, there's no smoke without fire.
Unfortunately we wont find out categorically until its just to late, bummer, but be patient you will find out, unless you are a vamipre! I can add to the mix though, I think I'm allowed.
See, I think its all linked to the ultimate question, "what is the meaning of life?" What if this is just the start, death is our birth into real life. I'm not sure I want to go through another birth really though, Ive seen videos, and been present at a couple, and they are awfully messy, lots of muck and stuff, crying and sweat, yuk!
The light people see in their near death experience could be the, well you know what I mean. Out of the dark, into the light, BANG!
Picture the scene, an 80 year old passes forth into, what I'm calling birth, covered in stuff, crying and screaming, and then that first look around. He/she looks round, looks down at themself, see the stuff all over them, tuts loudly, and falls over, Zimmer frames dont get reborn!
Then what? I don't know, like I said, I write this on the fly, it just spews forth. If it seems funny or interesting I'll put it here to see what you think. Leave the odd comment if you like, nothing rude though, I'll just remove them and you would have wasted 30 seconds of your birth time!

Ugly folk do not jog

It's a fact of exercise life that ugly folk do not jog. Now I understand that beauty is in the eye of the beholder but I can't remember the last time I drove, or walked down a street, saw someone jogging and had to double take at there unfortunate non good looks.


Art by Skip

To another jogger I suppose other joggers may not be quite as good looking as themselves but to us mere non joggers they are all fine specimens of the human race.
I see people out jogging and look at them with an envious eye. I'd love to do it, I really would, but alas that's where my enthusiasm ends, thinking I'd like to do it. I'd be a great jogger, if I could only be bothered.
If your reading this and consider yourself ugly and you jog your probably not really ugly. It's all subjective see, ugliness. I'm not the most handsome bloke to have ever roamed the planet, probably the reason I don't run, but to me you may not be ugly, relatively speaking.
You can probably use this rule for most forms of exercise, bike riding, skiing and so on. I can safely say though, that you will see ugly people riding bikes, that I can guarantee, but not for exercise, they will be going somewhere with a purpose, like to work, but it won't be for sport. Watch the ladies skiing on TV, they are all models, or should be, why is this the case, what rule is there that states ugly people don't exercise.

Im all out of puff, I'm so lost without it!

In my infinite wisdom I thought that, as I am now officially a none smoker, I would be able to do anything. Get the bike out, pump up the sadly underused tyres and go for an adventure. I'm just going for a bike ride dear, I told the wife, I'll shoot up to Tesco, anything you need?
With the list in hand, it wasn't a long list by any stretch of the imagination; I set off. Its about 2.5 miles from my house to the local Tesco, easy, see you soon.
Well, giving up smoking, and doing sod all exercise does not get you fit, not at all.
 I got about halfway, I was in the industrial estate which is built on a steady slope, note, not a hill, just a steady slope, but it may as well have been one of the mountain stages in the Tour de France. I got halfway up the slope and had to stop, not by choice, no, I really had to stop, I was knackered. I got off and nearly fell over, suddenly I no longer had legs, my weight was being supported by two sticks of jelly. I couldn't move, I dared not move, they had minds of their own, and one proceeded to venture off one way, whilst the other didn't think it was a good idea to go anywhere at all.
After a minute or two, of looking at my phone, I needed to check my emails anyway, a quite brilliant deception to fool the passing car drivers, who otherwise would have scoffed, I thought I should push on, not on the bike though, I wasnt ready for that just yet, no, I'll be walking for a while. I thought to myself how bloody sad it must look, someone pushing their bike, after all I'm sure I have ridiculed many a bike pusher over the years. Limp, that's it I'll limp, go for the sympathy vote; so I moved on slowly, bike being pushed along at my side, and a really nasty limp, the illusion was complete, I almost fooled myself.
I eventually reached Tesco, I did ride again after a couple of minutes, when the slope levelled out, and became downhill.
I picked up the bits I needed, but boy was I warm, I must have looked like a beetroot, I'm sure a few people looked at me in that, boy you don't look well, kind of way.
The trip home is a breeze, down hill apart from a couple of nasty little kicks up slope, when I slowed right down, almost to a stop at least once.
I got in and proceeded to tell Sam all about the limping saga, she then informed me that half the cars that had driven past where probably going to Tesco, and would be saying to each other, there's that bloke who was limping by the side of his bike half a mile back, looks alright now!
Cheers for that babe, I thought I'd really pulled it off, but alas no.
Tomorrow, exercises starts, well that's the theory anyway.